fredericks (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fredericks) wrote2004-02-18 10:35 am
fredericks) wrote2004-02-18 10:35 am
(no subject)
Someone I work with commented a while back "the one thing I can say about [Fredericks] is that she doesn't ask for help" . I was (very ably) lifting a metal handtruck at the time. I asked him if that was good or bad. He said bad. My response to him was that I know my limits: if there's no way I can possibly complete a task I'll ask for help, but if I know that I can get it done by myself I won't even bother.
He was referring to manual labor around Le Shack, obviously, but I was referring to how I live every aspect of my life. I know what I can and cannot accomplish, and I have this nagging need to do everything by myself for myself, so more often than not I'll flail around hopelessly while at an impasse instead of asking for help/support/what have you. There's a point where insistence for independence becomes idiotic, and I'm fairly certain I've passed that point many many times. And that I'm there right now. But, hells, why change a good thing?
Dad went to see my sister yesterday. She had another kid, giving her a two to none lead on me. I was the only one up when he came in. I asked him how she was doing and he goes "She's doing okay; she's gained a little weight" - you see how this man is? The weight factors in exactly where in how she's doing? and what did he expect? she just popped out a kid. I mentioned as much and he used that opportunity to say that he'd told us to call her but we didn't. Now, she's my half-sister and the same age as myself. I'm six days older than her. Do the math and realize why we didn't spend a lot of time bonding when we were younger. Not that mom had much ground to say anything, seeing her and dad didn't get married until three years later (yes, my friends, I'm a bonafide bastard). But I'm digressing. Basically we just don't communicate much, or at all. So how could we call her? we don't know her number. I mentioned that and then dad goes on about how it's the same number she's always had and we could have asked him for the number. That I'm not going to argue; while I don't remember him telling me to call her you'd think that normal circumstances would cause me to dial her up, but you'd think wrong. We just don't speak. But that's not why I'm typing this up. I told him he could have just given us the number outright and then told us to call her. The kicker, the ABSOLUTE KICKER, is what this man said next:"You're over eighteen, I can't make you do anything". Riiiight. I'll be sure to use than line the next Sunday he wakes me up to go to church, or the next time he tells me to clean up, or etc etc.
To be fair, maybe he's saying that because my 23 year old sister now has two kids and is working to support them. I mean, she's a MOM. A full adult. I'm 23 years old and working to pay off shit while under his roof. She's living with her mom, but she has KIDS. All I have are loans. And a college education. And a piece of paper. So I'm still a kid. And I'm the older one. By six days, but still.
He was referring to manual labor around Le Shack, obviously, but I was referring to how I live every aspect of my life. I know what I can and cannot accomplish, and I have this nagging need to do everything by myself for myself, so more often than not I'll flail around hopelessly while at an impasse instead of asking for help/support/what have you. There's a point where insistence for independence becomes idiotic, and I'm fairly certain I've passed that point many many times. And that I'm there right now. But, hells, why change a good thing?
Dad went to see my sister yesterday. She had another kid, giving her a two to none lead on me. I was the only one up when he came in. I asked him how she was doing and he goes "She's doing okay; she's gained a little weight" - you see how this man is? The weight factors in exactly where in how she's doing? and what did he expect? she just popped out a kid. I mentioned as much and he used that opportunity to say that he'd told us to call her but we didn't. Now, she's my half-sister and the same age as myself. I'm six days older than her. Do the math and realize why we didn't spend a lot of time bonding when we were younger. Not that mom had much ground to say anything, seeing her and dad didn't get married until three years later (yes, my friends, I'm a bonafide bastard). But I'm digressing. Basically we just don't communicate much, or at all. So how could we call her? we don't know her number. I mentioned that and then dad goes on about how it's the same number she's always had and we could have asked him for the number. That I'm not going to argue; while I don't remember him telling me to call her you'd think that normal circumstances would cause me to dial her up, but you'd think wrong. We just don't speak. But that's not why I'm typing this up. I told him he could have just given us the number outright and then told us to call her. The kicker, the ABSOLUTE KICKER, is what this man said next:"You're over eighteen, I can't make you do anything". Riiiight. I'll be sure to use than line the next Sunday he wakes me up to go to church, or the next time he tells me to clean up, or etc etc.
To be fair, maybe he's saying that because my 23 year old sister now has two kids and is working to support them. I mean, she's a MOM. A full adult. I'm 23 years old and working to pay off shit while under his roof. She's living with her mom, but she has KIDS. All I have are loans. And a college education. And a piece of paper. So I'm still a kid. And I'm the older one. By six days, but still.