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I'm in Louisville, KY, for a Quality Conference. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot to do in Louisville, but every local I've interacted with has been disturbingly friendly. So far I've just sat through a prep class for the Quality Certification Exam I'm scheduled to take 1st week of December. Class was boring for the most part, the teacher did a lot of reading from her Powerpoint slides (I kept thinking "I paid money for this??"). There was also a vendor hall where one could pick up a lot of knick-knacks (pens, bags), but I'm not big on stupid free shit. And a lot of the vendors were geared more towards Director level folks, who would be involved in buying software for their agencies. As I'm a small fry I did a quick lap and walked out the door. Good thing about this conference is that it's through Wednesday, which gives me a mini-vacation and lets me learn more about Quality Improvement, a field I'm finding I'm quite passionate about.

During one of today's breakout sessions, a woman with which I'd been chatting asked me what would be my dream job. I had a quick answer, based off my love of Air Disasters, one of my favorite TV shows: Accident Investigator. Dream job as in you need aviation experience to be considered for the positions, and that apparently it is hard as hell to get a foot through the door, but it requires inquisitiveness and "Sherlock"-ing (trying to deduce all the whys of a situation), things that I'd love to do full-time (and that I wish I could do more of in my current position). If only there was a public health equivalent...I think there must be similar work available with disease processes and epidemics in the CDC.

On a non-related note, one of my friends at work took the time out on Friday to pull me aside and tell me he was going to drop one of his job titles, which would result in him not being my colleague any more. The news really put major damper on my day, because I love hanging out with him and working alongside him, but with his change in title I'll most likely rarely get to see him. It was nice that he actually gave me forewarning, but such a downer. I had to leave the office and talk a walk to try to get my mind off of it.

Hopefully tomorrow I can find something with which to occupy my time in the city after the conference meetings wrap up. Otherwise I have no problem trying to catch up on schoolwork and/or lounging in this plush-ass bed. Soft beds FTW!
fredericks: (FMA Ack!)

Re: I'm totally not overreacting to the new Bridget Jones news at all. Nu-uh. But don't click unless you don't care about spoilers or what have you.

I'm not a major Bridget Jones fan, but the first movie is the one (and only) film I will put on without fail if I've had a particularly crappy day and I'm home alone and it's raining. And I happen to have a bottle of wine at the ready. Note that I'm generally not a "chick flick" person. The whole thing above just screams bad writing (or worse writing, when you factor in the turd that was the 2nd novel).
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Being uber-worried about a paper you have due on Tuesday + drinking a tall Starbucks coffee at 8:30PM = no sleep at night, being awake at 4:30AM, and not having enough brain cells to concentrate on nursing theory.

Yes, this Sunday is going to be AWESOME.

Also, writing papers is one thing I definitely didn't miss about school. The other thing I didn't miss? Group projects.

Coupled with professors who apparently cannot read or reply to, NOT LOVING IT.


Sep. 24th, 2013 10:41 pm
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Moment #1 - speaking with a coworker today, one I respected and looked up to quite a bit, who told me about a former patient of his diagnosed with Hep C & HIV and worked in the food industry. The patient invited him to the restaurant where she worked, but my coworker privately refused to go, saying "I don't know what I can catch." Really. REALLY. All those previous feelings of respect? right out the window. I couldn't contain myself, and told him "I can't believe you just told me that." Then sent him an e-mail with this link: . This is a person quite a few years older than me, from whom I expected better.

Moment # 2 - at another coworker's wedding, sitting at my assigned table watching my friend and her father do the traditional father/daughter dance. One of the gents at my table was a new dad to a little girl, and he found himself near tears, saying "I think this will be the happiest and saddest day of my life." To which his wife replied, "Don't worry, she'll stay two forever."

I think I made a new friend today, someone who seems like good people. Hopefully things work out. :)

Also, I sort of like the new show on Fox,"Brooklyn Nine-Nine." Mainly because I have this fascination with Andy Sandberg. And it's a cop show that doesn't take itself seriously. Also - TERRY CREWS!! Euro! Training! :)

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Yesterday was THE WEDDING. That's what I've been calling it in my head, caps and all, because it's been such a big deal for me. I don't socialize often or well, and having to attend my friend's wedding, surrounded by folks from a different social and economic background from myself, has been a black cloud in the back of my mind since I got the invitation a few months back. I had to go out and buy a dress, shoes, arrange for a timely hair appointment. Okay, no, I realize I didn't *have* to do any prep work at all. I chose to get the dress and shoes and "pretty myself up," because I have horrible esteem and issue problems and didn't want to feel too "judged" (which happens anyway), so I tried to put an effort forth. My BFF took it upon herself to take me one stop shopping (the woman basically picked my dress, god bless her heart), and then advised me on what accessories I should get.

My companion at the wedding was a mutual friend, who I expected to ditch me during the event at any moment so she could get laid. Not that I have a problem with her seeking out a sexual partner at the event, but I've made it pretty clear to her that I am dealing with anxiety issues and do better with someone near me at events like these. Meh. The ceremony was lovely (first RC service I've attended in *years*; still know all the words and when to kneel/sit/stand!), the reception was not too painful, and the bride was obviously in Cloud Nine. I got very unusual vibes from the groom and his side of the family, but, hey!, I'm not marrying into the family. I took the subway to Chelsea to get to the church service (riding the subway in a ball gown with a sweeping skirt and *all the cleavage* was fun, made me understand how much folks truly don't care about what's going on around them), and because we got caught in torrential rain leaving the reception (at the posh University Club, eating, drinking, and dancing in rooms with pictures of very judgmental white dudes staring at us) I took a cab back to my apartment.

Today I feel as if a huge weight's been lifted off my back. I woke up, ran errands, and then planned on catching up on school work, but then I figured I deserved to reward myself. So now I'm in bed listening to 80's pop/synth music, catching up on reading all the stories in my tabs (so many tabs!), and drinking ginger tea. Was watching football, but then the Giants got me so upset I had to shut it off.

I head off to Louisville in 2 weeks for my first professional Quality conference. Am looking forward to the time away and the experience. Also, am thinking of dressing up for Halloween for the first time since elementary! I'm thinking I should go as a Trek science officer, as it's rather low-key but still recognizable.

Now that
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I'm not a fan of nursing theory class. One, the professor is somewhat douche-y, two, a lot of the material is on very abstract stuff. I need concrete thought, dammit. I'm already somewhat tired of it, and it's only week three. I have to write a paper and do a presentation on a theory (bureaucratic caring). Just tried doing the reading, it was like trying to capture jelly (fatigue, brain, metaphors, ugh).

I've been tracking my weight on a run chart (thank you, improvement work!). I've been trending up, which is always depressing to look at. And I've been feeling more depressed lately, might be some correlation there. For my health promotion class (which, to balance the nursing theory class, seems like it's made of pure awesomesauce), I've had to track my health activities for the last couple of weeks. Initially my eating habits suffered from Observation Betterment ("better" activity while tracking), but I'm definitely at the "who gives two fucks?" portion of things (acclimation and whatnot), as my intake over the last three days will attest. My excuse is that I went to the ballpark twice over that period, and the first time it was with the BFF over a celebratory dinner. Flimsy, but I'm going to run with it. We're supposed to write a paper on analyzing our health habits with the data we've collected, and I'm looking forward to criticizing the holy fuck out of myself. In APA format with appropriate citations, of course.

A friend's wedding is this Saturday, and I'm dreading it. Have been dreading it for the last few weeks, in fact. Her circle of friends (outside of our mutual friend from work, of course) are folks who come across as classist and arrogant, and the short time I spent with them at her engagement party turned me off something fierce. I'd usually just chill with someone and try to endure, but the mutual work friend who's also going to the wedding is most likely going to make it her mission to get drunk and get laid, leaving me in the lurch. My goal is to avoid the alcohol and stay as long as politely possible. The main annoyance leading up to things has been the clothing shopping and prep work. Still have to figure out what makeup I have to get, get my nails and brows done, then try to beg my hairdresser for an appointment on Friday. See? I care about being prepped and ready, yet know it's all going to be pointless because I'm most likely going to look a mess anyway. Meh.

Bonus of the day: I'd ordered my school books from Barnes &, using the gift cards folks had given me for my birthday. Mistake, as shipping turned out to be a nightmare, and one box was thought to be lost in transit (no shipping details from the carrier). I called Customer Service, and they promised to ship another order with the same items free of charge. Of course, the missing box showed up the next day. When the new shipment arrived, I planned on calling Barnes & Nobles and returning it. Of course, I ended up dragging my feet and only got around to opening the box today. 16 days after the box arrived. The return details say you can return up to 14 days post-delivery. Oops. Seeing as I didn't pay for the items, I sure as heck was not going to pay to return it to them anyway. But, the bonus part - the original order was for a copy of the APA and a Health Promotion text book. The replacement order has a copy of the APA...and a Betty Crocker Health Heart Cookbook. Not quite the same, but a nice item nonetheless. I shall utilize it. :)
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I've been spending a little mental energy (as little as possible, because the endeavor ends up depressing) thinking about The Future Me. I find it tough because I'm not adventurous, I'm not a big fan of change, and so The Future Me ends up looking like The Current Me. And while I have no complaints, I'm more complacent than happy. I was asked once to define what would make me happy, and I drew a massive blank. What was unspoken seemed to be that where I am in my present life isn't making me happy. I guess. But, again, I'm not going to whine about it (pointing out facts and statements isn't whining, is it?), since I'm still friggin' lucky.

Part of thinking about my future state is wondering where I'll end up living. In my dream world I'd live in either the West Village or Chelsea, because those are my two favorite places in which to wander. I've also been eyeballing Downtown Brooklyn. What those places have in common? Rents and housing costs out of this world. For shits and giggles I've been checking out the websites for apartment building I pass during my day. Checked out this one in Chelsea on Friday: 101 West 15th Street. Studios and one bedrooms starting from $3425. A steal! I just about busted a gut in the middle of the street. My brother used to live in Grand Island, a stone throw away from the Canadian border in upstate NY. He paid $725 a month in rent for a roomy one bedroom, and would laugh at me when I told him I paid more than that for my half of rent in my previous two bedroom apartment. I suppose buying and doing a mortgage would be the way to go, but I'm quite concerned about the stability of my job at the moment. Whatever I do I'm going to have to get a move on, as I don't want to be making mortgage payments on a house after I've retired (look at me, assuming I'm going to live past 70).

No matter what happens, I'm giving myself until I turn 40 to get my shit together. I'm procrastinating on being a true adult, I can't help it.
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I had the delightful experience of interacting with a coworker whom I'd previously believed to be quite mild-mannered and cheerful 24/7 as he cursed folks out. All while remaining charming! I'm laughing to myself as I think back on it. We went from debriefing a meeting we'd held earlier in the day to him just laying into his current boss(es) and his horrible work situation with a smile on his face: "respectfully, [she] needs to suck my- Who does she think she is?" And all I could think to myself was "I wish I could carry you around on my person ALL THE TIME, you are made of sprinkles and *amazingness*." My job situation remains tenuous and stressful (I'm with the heartburn right now), but my coworkers get me through.

I haven't been up to much lately. I'm trying to find more physical activities to get involved (aside from derby; don't want to start that up again until I see how much time and money this school semester will run me), but it's a challenge to hunt down something that won't leave me too self-conscious. I'd wanted to do archery for a while, but with the upsurge of interest because of Hunger Games I'm thinking the ranges around here might be too busy. Also eyeballing aikido again (there's a dojo about four blocks away), but I think I'd need to lose 20+ pounds to feel mobile enough to attempt the rolls without throwing shit out of wack.

This past weekend I went to Brooklyn Academy of Music to see The Cornetto Trilogy (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and the new film World's End), along with a Q&A with Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost. It was quite a long day (got to BAM for 2pm, ended up getting let out at 11:30pm and the theater didn't have any real food options besides popcorn), but Edgar Wright was there with us all day, sitting for questions in between movies. Watching them in a row helped me pick up themes and actors that were in all three movies. And it solidified my love for Hot Fuzz ("you ain't seen Bad Boys 2??").

I'm very much excited for the conference I'm due to attend in October in Louisville, Ky. Not terribly stoked about the city itself, but just for the ability to get a mini-vacation out of the office (not a vacation, as I'll be attending presentations and stuff, but still!).
fredericks: (Default) apparently if you buy Adele's Skyfall on iTunes they then recommend for your listening pleasure John Mayer's live cover of Free Fallin'. Can someone explain that to me?

Right. Today I was off from work, but I scheduled time to talk in front of a class of high schoolers. My friend from high school was their teacher, and a while back she'd asked me to speak to the kids about nursing and my background ("it will be inspirational!"), but I only now got around to heading over there. The entire day was 40 shades of awesome. I got to hang out with my friend for the first time in almost four years (!), and fielded nursing and college questions from a bunch of overall well-behaved seniors. My friend did this whole cute write-up about me and then had me pop out to surprise the students. I really had a blast, and I think I was able to connect with one or two kids, particularly one boy who came up to me after class and seemed quite passionate about entering nursing (score!). Afterward she took me around the school and played catch-up, griping together about the horribleness that is student loans. Bonus was that I got to keep all the questions that the kids thought up. It's all going to be archived! :)

This past weekend was my first roller derby/skating lesson. It was very fun, and I realized that I haven't skated in forever (I was like a newborn foal, wobbling around and falling down on the track) and that derby requires A LOT of core and quad/upper leg strength. I'm hoping to organize a couple of practice squads once the weather clears up next week with a few of the other participants.

On the movie list - the whole watch thing is very much going to happen! I want to set up a blog and find a chat platform, because I'm still excited about mass geeking out on the regular.

Finally - I intend to update regularly, but if you know my name feel free to friend me over on FB (which I've been updating more only because it requires less forethought). Although I do solemnly swear to type in the box way more often.

How's it with you?
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1. I've only just gotten around to watching Generation Kill. And I officially have got it bad. This show is strangely addictive. Thank goodness there are only seven episodes, because I'd be fighting a serious case of sleep deprivation by this point in time. It's a bit disconcerting that the audio backing track that runs throughout each episode is quiet radio static and the occasion beep. Which has me constantly checking my phone for incoming text messages.

2. I'm going to suss out that movie list to try to pare it down a bit to films that are still available. Are there any apps or programs that will support group chat? Skype a good choice?
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I pulled out Spiderman 2 to watch this afternoon. This is the first time I've re-watched it in years, which is weird because the movie only came out in 2004 (!). I remember loving the hell out of it when I first saw it in theaters, but checking it out again the typical Raimi-isms in regards to film gimmicks are a bit annoying (what is with his love of filming women screaming in terror?).

BUT, what it has me pondering is a comic book movie re-watch. An organized sort of re-watch, starting with Superman (1978). Off the top of my head I'm trying to think of movies that I could theoretically add to the Comic Movies Re-watch List (non-animated category). What I have so far:

Superman I
Superman II
Superman III
Superman IV (shudder)
Batman Returns
Batman Forever
Batman and Robin (shudder)
Dark City (? dammit, I just feel like throwing it in there)
Spiderman II
Spiderman III (shudder)
X-3 (shudder)
Batman Begins
The Dark Knight
The Dark Knight Rises
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (shudder)
The Amazing Spiderman
Iron Man
Iron Man 2 (meh)
Captain America
Avengers (YAYZ)
X-Men: First Class

Damn. Longer list than I thought. And shit went crazy re: comic book movies right right after X-Men came out.

What movies should be added? Removed? Anyone interested in joining in if I make this more organized (set up a blog and viewing schedule, solicit reviews from participants)? Maybe we can get word out to get some more folks on board...?
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Today was full of suck for a number of reasons (the usual suspects), and I was feeling quite punchy at work. The suck increased exponentially during the evening when I realized my necklace had broken sometime during the course of my commute and the charm that adorned it was gone. This necklace had been a gift from my brothers on my 30th birthday, and I adored it. I was almost in tears at one point while I looked for the charm. In vain, of course. But, the funny part? While I looked for it I remembered where I was when I'd gotten it, how happy my brothers looked when they gave it to me, and how much I enjoyed all the time we'd spent together. I recalled all that emotion for the first time in, well, *ever*, and it reminded me how loved I was. And how lucky I am. So while I still miss the hell out of that necklace and charm, I'm ending the day feeling pretty okay. And quite blessed.

Do I still want to punch TOMORROW in the face? Oh yeah. But I'm taking things one day at a time.
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The weather folk had their pants in a collective snit about the snow that was heading this way, but NYC was spared. It's lovely outside at the moment, if very bright and a little slushy.

I'm re-watching Battlestar Galactica after one of my friends mentioned she's started it for the first time. I'd forgotten how much they Starbuck worshipped early in S1. And how much I disliked Ellen Tigh. Still, the S1 season finale is made of spicy spicy awesomesauce.

Hope all y'all on my FL are safe and warm. I'm recommending hot chocolate with marshmallows all around.
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Just realized that "Bridget Jones' Diary" is yet another example of popular fanfic. Life needs more "Pride and Prejudice" AU's. Come on writers, get on it.
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I was very lethargic and out of it this morning. I'm guessing it was weather related, because it was quite foggy and overcast last night up through my walk to the train station. Didn't get out of the apartment until almost 7:30, and strolled into the office right on time (yay!, no punch clocks).

There have been massive shake ups at my job. The biggest changes: SVP of my old department resigned, and the COO is retiring, both effective the end of this month. The SVP is not being replaced, and the new CEO is hunting nationwide for a new COO. Except there's a title change (*sigh*), and with it most likely responsibility changes as well. One of the project managers in my department is also leaving at the end of the month, and somehow my department managed to escape forced layoffs (we were apparently slated for three, as per our SVP). All of which to say - UGH. WTF. BBQ. The one good thing is that my direct boss has proven to be quite incapable of firing people, so I'm most likely in the clear until the next fiscal year, when the Board puts the fear of God into people re: departmental budgets. So my plan for this year is to try to get all the certifications I can (case management, quality improvement), and make myself more marketable just in case the axe comes down next December. Not sure if the grad school thing will work out (GREs = suck), but I do hope to complete the application in time for Fall admission.

Even though I was very much tempted to run back to the apartment and curl up in my bed, I did attempt to complete some errands and spent some time wrangling the papers in my room into submission. Now I'm on the couch watching The Bourne Identity (he WILL kill you with a Bic pen, yo). Fun times.
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Just marathoned Craig Thompson's Habibi over the last 4 hours. I'm going to have to do a slow re-read to get my thoughts together, but I read the last chapter and a half shaking my head and rolling my eyes, vaguely feeling like I'd been manipulated. I...yeah. I have a lot of "feels," as the kids would say.

Not sure. Whu:>?

Post! Wow!

Jan. 3rd, 2013 08:27 pm
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Happy New Year! (+ a couple of days)

I don't follow the whole "make a resolution" thing, but I always find the annual bevy of articles about the best resolutions, how to keep resolutions, and why resolutions suck extremely amusing.

The one thing I want to try to do (so not a resolution) is get out and socialize. I mean, I hate it, I hate getting out there and putting myself in the middle of a crowd, but I'm learning that it won't necessarily kill me. Sometimes it makes me feel like I want to *die*, but I've been known for my use of hyperbole.

Hopefully this year will see me get into grad school, or at least make a valiant effort to *try* ("do or do not," I know, I know), and with some definite direction towards where I intend to end up ten years from now (plans are hard).

Hope y'all are doing well and staying warm.

P.S. - I'm making an effort to read non e-books as well, so if anyone is over on Goodreads and wants to add me, please do; I need motivation! I'm Fredericks over there as well.
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I'm in the process of sending out holiday cards, so if you would like me to send one your way just click here and follow the directions, plz thx.

Time seems to be simultaneously flying by and painfully dragging. It's hard to believe that Christmas is a little more than a week away. And in two weeks we'll be welcoming in the new year. There's been so much change in my life this last year, the bulk of it good (or not aggressively negative, in any case) that it's hard to think about where to go from here. But here I go being overly pensive on an overcast, quiet Sunday morning. I'll save it for another day.

One of my friend's fiance unexpectedly died two weeks ago. She returned to work this past Thursday, but is working in my office until she finds it in herself to return to her office in the Bronx. People have stopped me to ask "oh, how is she doing?" Which I think ranks up there with one of the stupidest questions ever. I ended up responding to someone "well, how do you think she's doing?" Again, why ask a question if you're not going to be able to do anything with the response? Most times I bite my tongue, because I understand that it's tough to think of the appropriate thing to say. But it's eye opening. I answered in the affirmative when my friend asked if everyone knew about her fiance's death, and then added "they all care for you, you know." And she said "that's both great and awful at the same time." It takes tragedy to find out how many people's lives you've touched, and ain't that some shit?

K, but I said I'd stop being pensive and now I'm being maudlin. Joy.

I'm studying for the GREs. In that, most days I carry the review book in my messenger bag and at least glance at the cover. My hope is to apply for graduate school for Fall admission, and to study public health. I'm thinking the type of job I'd want might require my PhD in the subject, but I just need to get out of what I'm doing at the moment. That's not to say that I dislike my job at the moment (I say, as it seems like I'm going to pass probation and hopefully will not get laid off due to budget cuts next year...??), but I'd like to work on public health policy and initiatives and that takes the extra clout of paper.

Promises to update these journals more often. It's funny how quiet my FL has become lately, and that's because most of the folks I originally friended were my age way back when, and now they've either moved on to other media outlets (Twitter is great for bon mots, isn't it?) or are too busy raising their families. Which, ha, neither of those will be issues for me for various reasons.

Happy almost Christmas, and happy end of Hanukkah. I do love this time of year, moroseness be damned. :)


Nov. 26th, 2012 07:01 pm
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Middle bro lost his job today. His first job, his first firing. Of course, they decide to fire him before his second quarter ended, so he can't collect unemployment. Dickwads.
fredericks: (Scrubs Top-o-the-Mizzle)
I had the family over yesterday for a little gathering. I didn't call it a Housewarming, because this is an apartment I'm renting with my roomie and I didn't want any gifts (too much stuff as is). This gathering required a lot of prep. Which I didn't really start doing until Friday afternoon. I begged my boss to leave an hour early (yes, I worked on Black Friday**), telling her I was freaking out about my impending party. Twas only partially true; I was also bored out of my mind while in the office. She let me leave, and I headed down to Bed Bath and Beyond to get some materials (cutting board, grater, mixing bowls). It was surprisingly not crazy in there, but then I suppose most folks don't say "oh man, I need to get that great knife set on Black Friday."

After that I went to Whole Foods to pick up some foodstuff. I made a stop by the liquor store immediately outside of my subway stop for cooking wine, two large unwieldy bags in hand. After that I headed back to my apartment to drop off all that stuff, finalized my shopping list, then grabbed the shopping cart and headed to the local grocery where I picked up the remainder of the foodstuff, and then the 99 Cent Store on the way back to get some crappy serving spoons, table cloths, and serving tray lids. I started food prep and cleaning up on my return, and ended up forcing myself to bed around 1AM. I slept until 7:30, then got up to start prepping/cleaning again while waiting for a Fresh Direct delivery of some add'l prepared foodstuff and dining ware.

By the time the designated party time rolled around (4pm) I had more or less completed most of the cooking, had the dining table and heated food area set up. I ended up making a lot more food than was needed, but most people took food home so there was not much left for me to deal. The apartment was packed (I only invited family because of the space limitation), and while I'd been worried about people being bored out of their gourds, there was football on so some people stayed in the living room watching football while others chatted around the appetizers in the dining area. It was all good. Of course, my leg decided to act up Friday night into Saturday, so by the time things started wrapping (around 10:30pm) I was limping around like Quasimodo. Luckily my mom and aunt helped me with clean up before they left, so I just had to deal with the remainder of the dishes and mopping the kitchen once the last person walked out (at midnight). I downed some Tylenol and did a leg massage plus a warm shower.

Today I ended up sleeping in until around 12pm. My leg felt amazing for it, about which I was extremely happy. I think things went well yesterday, and although all the friggin work involved with having everyone over (25 people!) was way way cray-cray, I now know how much food and other materials would be needed. I did way too much cooking, yo. Even when you enjoy it, when you're on your feet doing it for a while it gets quite annoying.

Back to work tomorrow. Joy. This week will be broken up with a Powerpoint class on Wed and Thurs , but I have a meeting with a rehab team on Tuesday to which I'm not looking forward. Oh well.

**Or "WGA Day" for those of us in the know.


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October 2013



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