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[personal profile] fredericks
Yesterday was THE WEDDING. That's what I've been calling it in my head, caps and all, because it's been such a big deal for me. I don't socialize often or well, and having to attend my friend's wedding, surrounded by folks from a different social and economic background from myself, has been a black cloud in the back of my mind since I got the invitation a few months back. I had to go out and buy a dress, shoes, arrange for a timely hair appointment. Okay, no, I realize I didn't *have* to do any prep work at all. I chose to get the dress and shoes and "pretty myself up," because I have horrible esteem and issue problems and didn't want to feel too "judged" (which happens anyway), so I tried to put an effort forth. My BFF took it upon herself to take me one stop shopping (the woman basically picked my dress, god bless her heart), and then advised me on what accessories I should get.

My companion at the wedding was a mutual friend, who I expected to ditch me during the event at any moment so she could get laid. Not that I have a problem with her seeking out a sexual partner at the event, but I've made it pretty clear to her that I am dealing with anxiety issues and do better with someone near me at events like these. Meh. The ceremony was lovely (first RC service I've attended in *years*; still know all the words and when to kneel/sit/stand!), the reception was not too painful, and the bride was obviously in Cloud Nine. I got very unusual vibes from the groom and his side of the family, but, hey!, I'm not marrying into the family. I took the subway to Chelsea to get to the church service (riding the subway in a ball gown with a sweeping skirt and *all the cleavage* was fun, made me understand how much folks truly don't care about what's going on around them), and because we got caught in torrential rain leaving the reception (at the posh University Club, eating, drinking, and dancing in rooms with pictures of very judgmental white dudes staring at us) I took a cab back to my apartment.

Today I feel as if a huge weight's been lifted off my back. I woke up, ran errands, and then planned on catching up on school work, but then I figured I deserved to reward myself. So now I'm in bed listening to 80's pop/synth music, catching up on reading all the stories in my tabs (so many tabs!), and drinking ginger tea. Was watching football, but then the Giants got me so upset I had to shut it off.

I head off to Louisville in 2 weeks for my first professional Quality conference. Am looking forward to the time away and the experience. Also, am thinking of dressing up for Halloween for the first time since elementary! I'm thinking I should go as a Trek science officer, as it's rather low-key but still recognizable.

Now that


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October 2013


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