That's it. I can't float. Well, I do float for a bit, then my legs start sinking and it's all downhill. I've never been able to fully relax in the water. My dad's tried to teach me at part, at least, since I was small, and no dice. The instructor keep telling me "Oh, you're so tense in the water. You have to relax" and I'm thinking to myself "Great. Now stop telling me to breath, kick, and windmill already and let me work on just staying afloat." I do have some titanium in my right leg but I'm thinking that wouldn't make it impossible for me to stay above water, just a tad more difficult.

Overall, what happens is that I start with the kicking, and I either position my legs incorrectly during the movement (propelling myself downward, not forward), or I start with the sinking of the legs, and the forward kicking is automatically negated by the downward movement. I figure if I can use a float tube to help with the staying above water bit, I can work on the kicking more effectively. But I was soundly denied by my instructor, the fuckin' Swim Nazi. Ah, she means well, but she isn't terribly helpful when it comes to showing you what you're doing wrong mechanically.

And I'd so come visit you guys when you relocate back to North America. Funds allowing, of course. I'd bring some Sam Adams and DDRMax2. Par-tay! *grin*