Whoo-whee!

So many little things to note.

Bro and I saw Kill Bill, Vol. 2 last night. Good cinema. Not as much blood as the first one, but the pacing was better. And ( spoilerific stuff ahead. )

Grandma's dog got fucked the eff' up by some pitbulls last night. It's really sad, but I know how the little spitfire is. Why is it always the little dogs that want to take on the world? It's like they have balls too big for their bodies and are trying to compensate for something. Which is ironic in this case, seeing as this dog was fixed because it tried to hump everything in sight. Fido (named "Frodo" by the aunt that initially had him, then changed to "Fido" because Grandma has no clue about Lord of the Rings) apparently took it into his head to say hello to the neighbor's pitbulls. And, well, I guess dogs don't take too kindly to other dogs coming up in their grill snapping at their heels because Fido's drugged up and wrapped up like a mummy. Poor guy. Guess he never learnt the lesson: come correct, or don't come at all. Now he knows (and knowing is half the battle). /afterschool special vibe

Eh, have to go to Le Shack. I have so much to say here. Guess I'll get it down when I come back in.

Random Sidenotes

At work the other day one of my co-workers was lamenting the fact that there's been zilch customer flow into the store for a while. That's bad, seeing as we work off commission (more or less), so it directly impacts on our paychecks. I'm all "eh ::shrug::" because that's how I usually am, but this guy is new(ish) to the store and so may be used to a larger paycheck? I don't know. I can't remember what his exact words were, but I do remember him saying something like "Everything happens for a reason, God sent me to this store for a reason, it's pretty crappy that we have no one to sell to in the store, there must be a reason for that". This guy isn't a religious zealot or anything; I suppose it was boring enough in the store that minds started whirring and mouths started opening more loosely than usual. Which might explain why, instead of just smiling and nodding off what he said, I decided to reply "You really think God cares that you, a young man with no kids, in school, living with his folks, will have a smaller than usual paycheck?" Again, I'm paraphrasing, but the gist is there. From there continued some discussion, fairly pointless (IMO) because when you're talking about religion no one can really "win" an argument. What facts do you have to prove your case?

Jesus. It's like, you're looking for a reason for the mundane. Look at the larger picture. My aunt's husband just died after an agonizing(ly brief) fight with cancer, she's stuck with a money-sapping business, oodles and oodles of debt, and children that are, in turns, unruly and restless, wanting to leave the house and leave her by herself. *She* should be looking for a reason and questioning. People stuck in civil wars, people bereft and suffering...ack. Everything's relative, I know this. Suffering is relative. But what he said just really got my goat. Or maybe it was just his constant repeating of "Well, I don't expect you to understand where I'm coming from". All because I replied "I don't know" when he asked me if I believed in God.

I really don't know. And I don't mind that I don't know. I've always been very accepting, very open. Or I'd like to think of myself in that way. When I say "I don't know" it isn't with a tremor in my voice or tears in my eyes. I can accept the fact that I really don't know if there is a God or not. Maybe I don't care. Maybe that's the way to reconcile the scientist in me with the well-bred, long-nurtured religious in me. I don't know, but I feel that it's possible that God created the first cell, or set the whole universe thing in motion, and is now sitting back watching everything go down. But, see? I type that and in my head I say "but *all* of the universe? It's massive. Is that possible?" And I leave it at that. I let it all roll off me. While trying to love my fellow man, and do unto others as I would have them do unto me. It's more about beliefs than deities, in my opinion. And love. All about love. Now if I could only love myself things would be better, sez I.

Slightly tangential - at the 40th day marking of my uncle's passing (I had no idea people celebrated that; makes sense, I suppose - linking it with ascension) one of my aunts made me terribly proud to be related to her. A group of relatives (some close, most distant - in the Trinidadian tradition *everyone* is your cousin, related in one way or another) were talking about their respective churches and she mentioned how her pastor preached acceptance of people. ALL people. She then started talking, mentioning a post-operative transsexual that was a fellow parishioner, and some of the people listening raised and eyebrow and started to bad talk transsexuals and homosexuals. She raised her voice and said she didn't really care how others lived their lives...or something along those lines. I really couldn't sit there any longer taking all that, so I mentioned why I dislike when people quote the Bible and say God is against homosexuality (and noted a bunch of the other things outlawed in Leviticus) finished up by saying that it's God's role to judge, not man's. That usually satisfies those for and against homosexuality, and leaves everyone else unable to really say anything. *sigh* I wish I was eloquent. Situations like that call for it.

You know how you have someone in your life that you look up to? An idol? Someone you think can do no wrong? I felt that way about one of my aunts (another one). The moment that all just died? She and her husband were giving me a drop to the subway after a visit to their house. I was mentioning my unhappiness with an authority figure at school when either her or her husband said "I bet he was a faggot" and both of them laughed. I sat there, stunned. It wasn't just the wording, it was the hatred that I felt behind them. And then they continued with the derogatory terms/words. This was the person I looked up to? It was painful. It still is painful, when I think about it. Since then my blinders have been gone. Just when it comes to her, though. Which is for the better, I think. Eh ::shrug::.

I'm debating whether I should stay up and watch the remainder of the QAF end of S3-marathon or finish watching The Magdalene Sisters, which was shaping up to be a most excellent waste of 2 hours. Eh. Folks are up in Rhody, so I don't have to wake up for church if I don't want to. I guess I can do both.