fredericks

If you ever want to depress yourself, endeavor to engage in all the activities you've been putting off and have no idea why. There's a reason - your brain's trying to save you from anguish. It prevents you from being productive, the procrastination of activity, but it does manage to keep your mood up a smidge.

I took a glance at my credit report for the first time. OUCH. It's not horrible, but it certainly isn't something one can brag about. I'm going to have to ask for a translator in Credit-ese sooner or later. And start paying off my Amex bill. I'm also going to have to stop thinking "You suck! No one's going to accept you into their programs" and find it in me to wrap up my school apps. This weekend's events haven't helped me with that one bit.

Took the GREs Friday. Did okay in the writing, I think. Just okay, though. Then came the first verbal section. Got hung up on one passage question but did well on the first couple of questions. All right. Then came the quantitative section. The first five questions were on lines and I couldn't remember how to find the slope! Total blank. The entire section was disaster, and what hurt the most was that it was otherwise basic math. I just couldn't remember how to do it. I grappled with whether or not I should scrap it, and I decided to do it. Cancel it. Worse use of $115 dollars ever.

On the way back, after emerging from the train station and walking home, I slipped on some invisible ice and badly sprained my ankle. The ankle attached to my metallic leg. I was on a non-pedestrian laden side street, yes, but a number of vehicles were passing on the road. Yet no one stopped to inquire why I was laying sprawled out on the pavement (in agony, I may add). I love when mankind upholds my (lack of) faith in them. After literally crawling a foot or two away from the treacherous ice I managed to stand...and realized that I couldn't walk at all. My right leg wasn't going to support anything. I had to call my brother and ask him to come pick me up. Meanwhile I'm standing on one leg afraid to move lest I slip again. Fun! Perfect closure for the day.

Blah blah blah folks pain in the ass it's just a bad sprain. I'm back on crutches and hobbling around. I called Shake and Co. yesterday morning before my shift and told the floor manager I'd be out Sat. and Sunday. She really couldn't have cared less and it turns out she didn't even pass my message along because when I called Shake today to say I wouldn't be in tomorrow either the floor manager tried to give me the third degree about not being there "Oh, we managed without you". When I said that I had mobility issues he asked "What train are you talking about?". I said "My leg is hurt" adding "Y'all are asses" in my head. You'd think they'd call to find out what was going on with an employee that didn't show up, but no. Ah, humanity. Sweet sweet humanity.

No, I'm not bitter - where'd you ever get that idea?

I'm hoping I feel confident enough in myself to make it to school tomorrow afternoon. Trying to navigate the subway with crutches is no joke. Other than that, I have a helluva lotta studying and app getting together to do tonight. Wish me luck.

(I know I mentioned that I wouldn't post about this weekend,