On Otherland and Emotions
Apr. 2nd, 2003 01:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fredericks*sigh* I've somewhat recovered from what I'll refer to as the "Cheung Incident" (no word as to whether or not the news was false or not but I'll still hold out hope).
I spent the day basically lying in bed reading the final volume of Otherland, Sea of Silver Light. I'm certain the only real reason I love this book is because of the "resurrection" (so to speak) of Orlando and the interactions he and Sam are allowed. At certain points of the day I was sorely tempted to simply skip to that part and read it, but I realized that it would make the moment that much more special and moving if I could relive all of Sam's longing and lost before the event actually happens. And, you know what? I was right. Orlando's emergence from the Well was nearly as stirring this time around as it was the first time I read it, 3 years ago on the bed of my small single in Harkness. I don't think I'll ever forget the mixture of emotions that ran through me as I turned the last page of Silver Light, nor the empassioned letter I composed with the intention of sending it to Williams (I took some time to think about how crazed the missive would seem and then promptly clicked on the "Delete" button after re-reading it).
Overwhelmingly, the main reason I loved Otherland was for its vivid descriptions, its unique setting and (above all) the characters of Orlando and Fredericks (hence the name). I saw so much of myself in Fredericks - she's a black girl confused about so many aspects of her life. It was irksome when it seemed like she was constantly depending on Orlando for assistance and she could never play the role of hero (properly, anyway) but in that way I also saw myself in her. Certainly I could never see myself in that same situation taking charge and being the classic "hero". I'd do what Fredericks did with a friend like Orlando around: look towards Orlando for guidance and help in the ways I could. Why do I suggest/mention Otherland to people I know? I guess it's because I find it so hard to share myself with others and I feel like certain aspects of this book captures so much of myself that its almost easier to ask them to read through 3500 pages of text than open up. An easy way out? Perhaps.
And the ending of the book, although "happy" in the sense that all the heroes are alive to speak of what happened, seemed infinitely sad to me. Orlando's basically "trapped" in Otherland now. It's hinted that Sam and Fredericks are falling in love (*real* love, not the fairy tale stuff) but how can the relationship survive if their interactions are limited to a virtual world? Ha. It can't and it won't. Its because of this knowledge that I can't help but leave Silver Light with a bittersweet feeling.
But something else came to me while I was reading Sea of Silver Light again. It really isn't written as well as I remembered. I suppose time and the emotions I felt about/because of the events that happened between its covers those years ago helped me fudge over some of the slower, more annoying aspects of the book. Like how 95% of the chapters end in annoying (and somewhat deceptive) cliffhangers. And how characters reiterate the same emotions over and over again (this I understand a little more, seeing as, logically, they would most likely would be thinking the same things over and over again...but really! by the 15th time Sam thought about how much she missed Orlando and by the thousandth time Renie mentioned how much she missed Stephen I started to get a little annoyed). And how often Williams stoops to expositional dialogue from characters in order to neatly tie up plots. There are other little things as well that aren't coming to me clearly now, but I can say with little doubt that this book is the weakest of the series.
Nevertheless I still love this book and this series will always hold a special place in my heart. I justify it this way - it's like love and a loved one. Initially you're captivated by the novelty of the other person; how they make you feel and what strengths/emotions/reactions they can draw out of you. You idealize them, ignoring a lot of their flaws in order to better incorporate them into your world. But as time goes on you realize that, yes, the other is human and they have flaws like everyone else. But (hopefully) those flaws don't negatively affect your feelings for them. They may even strengthen the bond you feel for them. That's how I feel for Otherland. Coming back to it now, older, wiser (and, undoubtably, more jaded than ever) I can appreciate it for both its strengths and its flaws. And I think I love it even more.
I think about my "Orlando" from time to time. How he's doing, if he's wondering how I'm doing...silly stuff like that. It's funny; when I picture the character of Orlando in my mind's eye I always see his face (it helps that Williams only gives vague physical descriptions of this characters). I wonder, if he read Otherland, if he would think of me as his Fredericks. I wish so...but then reality takes hold and my cynical nature makes its comments. Sometimes its better to dream...
I spent the day basically lying in bed reading the final volume of Otherland, Sea of Silver Light. I'm certain the only real reason I love this book is because of the "resurrection" (so to speak) of Orlando and the interactions he and Sam are allowed. At certain points of the day I was sorely tempted to simply skip to that part and read it, but I realized that it would make the moment that much more special and moving if I could relive all of Sam's longing and lost before the event actually happens. And, you know what? I was right. Orlando's emergence from the Well was nearly as stirring this time around as it was the first time I read it, 3 years ago on the bed of my small single in Harkness. I don't think I'll ever forget the mixture of emotions that ran through me as I turned the last page of Silver Light, nor the empassioned letter I composed with the intention of sending it to Williams (I took some time to think about how crazed the missive would seem and then promptly clicked on the "Delete" button after re-reading it).
Overwhelmingly, the main reason I loved Otherland was for its vivid descriptions, its unique setting and (above all) the characters of Orlando and Fredericks (hence the name). I saw so much of myself in Fredericks - she's a black girl confused about so many aspects of her life. It was irksome when it seemed like she was constantly depending on Orlando for assistance and she could never play the role of hero (properly, anyway) but in that way I also saw myself in her. Certainly I could never see myself in that same situation taking charge and being the classic "hero". I'd do what Fredericks did with a friend like Orlando around: look towards Orlando for guidance and help in the ways I could. Why do I suggest/mention Otherland to people I know? I guess it's because I find it so hard to share myself with others and I feel like certain aspects of this book captures so much of myself that its almost easier to ask them to read through 3500 pages of text than open up. An easy way out? Perhaps.
And the ending of the book, although "happy" in the sense that all the heroes are alive to speak of what happened, seemed infinitely sad to me. Orlando's basically "trapped" in Otherland now. It's hinted that Sam and Fredericks are falling in love (*real* love, not the fairy tale stuff) but how can the relationship survive if their interactions are limited to a virtual world? Ha. It can't and it won't. Its because of this knowledge that I can't help but leave Silver Light with a bittersweet feeling.
But something else came to me while I was reading Sea of Silver Light again. It really isn't written as well as I remembered. I suppose time and the emotions I felt about/because of the events that happened between its covers those years ago helped me fudge over some of the slower, more annoying aspects of the book. Like how 95% of the chapters end in annoying (and somewhat deceptive) cliffhangers. And how characters reiterate the same emotions over and over again (this I understand a little more, seeing as, logically, they would most likely would be thinking the same things over and over again...but really! by the 15th time Sam thought about how much she missed Orlando and by the thousandth time Renie mentioned how much she missed Stephen I started to get a little annoyed). And how often Williams stoops to expositional dialogue from characters in order to neatly tie up plots. There are other little things as well that aren't coming to me clearly now, but I can say with little doubt that this book is the weakest of the series.
Nevertheless I still love this book and this series will always hold a special place in my heart. I justify it this way - it's like love and a loved one. Initially you're captivated by the novelty of the other person; how they make you feel and what strengths/emotions/reactions they can draw out of you. You idealize them, ignoring a lot of their flaws in order to better incorporate them into your world. But as time goes on you realize that, yes, the other is human and they have flaws like everyone else. But (hopefully) those flaws don't negatively affect your feelings for them. They may even strengthen the bond you feel for them. That's how I feel for Otherland. Coming back to it now, older, wiser (and, undoubtably, more jaded than ever) I can appreciate it for both its strengths and its flaws. And I think I love it even more.
I think about my "Orlando" from time to time. How he's doing, if he's wondering how I'm doing...silly stuff like that. It's funny; when I picture the character of Orlando in my mind's eye I always see his face (it helps that Williams only gives vague physical descriptions of this characters). I wonder, if he read Otherland, if he would think of me as his Fredericks. I wish so...but then reality takes hold and my cynical nature makes its comments. Sometimes its better to dream...
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Date: 2004-12-27 09:03 pm (UTC)