(no subject)

[fredericks]

I spent a good portion of this long w/e quietly freaking about my leg (except for when I decided to pepper the good Captain with pointless inquiries; sorry about that). Seems like all the walking I did last weekend really did a number on the leg with all the hardware in it, and I went from mild "shin" pain to more limping than usual Thursday to waking up in utter agony Saturday morning. It got to the point where I was contemplating going to an ER for follow up. And that the thought of entering an ER as a patient over a holiday weekend even crossed my mind should tell you how fucked I felt. Friday I called my office to ask whether I'd be allowed to come to work using crutches and not have to go out to see patients because I was fretting about having to hold onto my sick time and trying to calculate whether my short term disability plan would cover my monthly loan payments...it was sad.

What was most difficult was trying to find an orthopedist. Turns out that most of them specialize in joints, and seeing as I didn't have a joint issue I was SOL. I spent most of the weekend trying to refrain from extra activity. I thought I'd end up having to go to work today using crutches but when I woke up I felt pretty okay. Still limping around, but that does seem to be my baseline. Now I feel a bit shitty, because I managed to find a doctor and I have an appointment lined up for next Wednesday; I think my symptoms will have been resolved by then. I do need a doctor in the area to follow up with in regards to my long term care (as in my inevitable bilateral knee replacements; those bad boys snap, crackle, and pop with the best of them), but I feel bad about strolling in there and telling them I'm feeling okay. And I just *know* the first thing this dude is going to tell me is that I have to lose weight. Which, yeah, you fucking try to get cardio or any real worthwhile exercise in when you're afraid of aggravating leg pain and/or your knees bother the hell out of you. And I have lost weight and will *continue* to lose weight. Douchenozzle.

Not that I'm bitter or tired of the same shit, of course.

Middle youngest bro graduated this weekend. I'm very proud of him. He's a papered mechanical engineer. No job yet, but he says he's sent out applications. I don't know. But, you know, maybe he needs some time to find his footing.

I'm really looking forward to the weekend, even though I'm scheduled to work *again*. I'm hoping TPTB are nice to me and let me work in the office on paperwork instead of having me trudging out to see patients, what with my impending ortho appointment. Saturday is baby bro's b-day, and I got him tickets to the Mets game for him, the other bros, and his friend. And once I'm past this weekend I have a truncated work week and then Jo and I go to see The Book of Mormon as an early b-day present to myself.

This entry was supposed to be more coherent. Oh well.

Comments

[paradise-city.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about your leg. I have a friend in a similar position -- her knees really bother her and she's always told to lose weight, but that's really hard to do with her knees in bad shape. It's a rough cycle. I hope you get to feeling better!

[emily-goddess.livejournal.com]

I don't think I knew that you had a leg with hardware in it. I'm sorry it's been hurting you. You feeling any better now?

[fredericks.livejournal.com]

I get quite defensive when medical professionals with whom I'd had no prior relations decide to "educate" me on the perils of being overweight. Really? Usually I end up sitting there and taking it, akin to the way I end up letting telemarketers reading me their entire script because I feel guilty about hanging up on them. But the next person who decides I've decided to let myself go and doesn't bother think that I might actually have food issues? will talk to my back as I walk to the door.

But, uhm, yeah, thanks. I got all ranty there for a moment.

[fredericks.livejournal.com]

A bit, thanks for asking. Still going to get it checked out, because I'm not good with the whole medical surprise thing.

[paradise-city.livejournal.com]

I get a little ranty when it comes to weight, too, so you're perfectly excused. (Especially today, given that an hour of researching sports bras ended in me spending a fairly ungodly amount of money just to not be bouncing all over town. But that's neither here nor there.)

Here's the happy Venn diagram that sums up my rantiness. Thin ≠ healthy and/or good, and fat ≠ unhealthy and/or bad. There's so much more nuance to the issue, especially for women, and especially when you factor in beauty norms and such. As someone who is healthy and yet still fat, I can definitely put my ranty pants on with the best of them.

[fredericks.livejournal.com]

Much love for that diagram. Thanks for sharing that link. :)