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Foolish? or following my heart?
Aug. 30th, 2004 05:43 pmMy first class today was at 9:45. Had to wake up by 7:20 to get out here ("here" as in Hunter; I'm in a computer lab bullshitting some time away right now) ontime. The class is GLBT Literature Post-Stonewall, which just seemed interesting initially but was my backup plan just in case I didn't get into Math 101. However, I'm sort of finding myself in a quandary because I really like the Professor and I like the fact that there are no exams, just papers due. You don't even have to do a presentation on the paper if you don't want: totally optional.
My issue arose sometime during the middle of the classes lecture. I said to myself "I don't want to do it" - "it" being what I had to rush to at 11, taking notes for the students that requested it from the Accessibility Office. I've been saying it for a while, that I felt uncomfortable with the idea of taking notes for individuals when my handwriting was so sloppy. Now it seems I've just taken issue with the fact that I have to sit through lectures for classes that I might not necessarily be interested in when I have problems making it through recitation of those that I enjoy. It's money, it's a job I have, yes, but...I don't want to do it. I can see I'm going to be freaked already by the horror that is Orgo (which I took and failed in the past) and the memorization game that is Anatomy, so to add having to stay awake through lectures I don't have to in order to turn some cash? When it comes down to that, I'd honestly rather work the same hours in retail than do that. At least when I'm running back and forth for customers I can usually reach some state of flow that makes the time fly. In lectures...not going to happen.
I have to now find the strength to go to Cherryanne, whose been extremely nice to me, and tell her I just don't want to do it anymore and, oh yeah, tell those students "sorry" for me.
Dammit. Why can't I find a bundle of money somewhere?? My Bio books alone cost $200. Two HUNDRED! God knows what my Orgo books will cost.
Bloody hell.
My issue arose sometime during the middle of the classes lecture. I said to myself "I don't want to do it" - "it" being what I had to rush to at 11, taking notes for the students that requested it from the Accessibility Office. I've been saying it for a while, that I felt uncomfortable with the idea of taking notes for individuals when my handwriting was so sloppy. Now it seems I've just taken issue with the fact that I have to sit through lectures for classes that I might not necessarily be interested in when I have problems making it through recitation of those that I enjoy. It's money, it's a job I have, yes, but...I don't want to do it. I can see I'm going to be freaked already by the horror that is Orgo (which I took and failed in the past) and the memorization game that is Anatomy, so to add having to stay awake through lectures I don't have to in order to turn some cash? When it comes down to that, I'd honestly rather work the same hours in retail than do that. At least when I'm running back and forth for customers I can usually reach some state of flow that makes the time fly. In lectures...not going to happen.
I have to now find the strength to go to Cherryanne, whose been extremely nice to me, and tell her I just don't want to do it anymore and, oh yeah, tell those students "sorry" for me.
Dammit. Why can't I find a bundle of money somewhere?? My Bio books alone cost $200. Two HUNDRED! God knows what my Orgo books will cost.
Bloody hell.
