One Moment in Time

I just checked ESIMS, and I found out I got an A+ in Italian. 4.0. For one brief, shining moment, my cumulative GPA at a school is a 4.0. Let me cherish this until my B from Bio lowers it down to a 3.25. And then my C/B-/B from Chem Lab lowers it more. And then my possible C from Chem...you get the picture.

Crunch Time

So I have two more pages to go on this jammy. That I'm hoping to tackle in the next 1 1/2 hours. Then the revisions start. And then, somehow, I have to find enough time to study for the Chem test which I need to get 100 on in order to get an A in the class. I...

Okay, break with reality over. I realize that my room has gotten really gamey. Anyone else go through that? I'm cramped up in my room for long stretches at a time, and even though I make it my duty to bathe daily (and brush my teeth, etc etc) after like 2 days my rooms starts cultivating this funk which I only really notice after I gather some shred of consciousness. Seriously foul. And candles do nothing but lay on top of the funk, they do nothing to clear it out.

I am going to be so very happy at 9:00. I'm going to come home, clean my room, wash my clothes and sheet, and then take over the world do something NOT school-related.

Oh yeah.

Another One Blah Blah Blah

I'm done. This has felt like the longest semester I've ever had to deal with. Being home has something to do with it. When I was up in Providence I inevitably had a single. I could retreat into my room with no distractions when the mental goings got rough. Hide behind Six Feet Under and Queer as Folk and The Sopranos and various online fandoms. Pick up a book and read from sun up to sun down, leaving my room only to grab a coffee if need be. Worked enough to support myself. I was as independent as a young girl paying an exorbitant amount to attend a private university and pay for dorming in a small room could conceivably think she could be. And now I'm home, finding it hard to find a job that'll allow me enough leeway to focus on my studies, dealing with various stressors (mom DAD), and barely containing my continuous freak out about not really knowing what the hell I'm going to do and, my ultimate nightmare, being stuck here forever.

But, yes. It's over for this semester. Now I just have to focus on finding a nursing school and taking GREs and such. And I'll have to stop beating myself over the head for my B in Anatomy and my conceivable C in Chem and my most likely C in Chem Lab. I feel about ten pounds lighter. Although it hasn't really sunk it yet that I'm done. I'm feeling real weird right about now.

Yup. This entry is done.