The Fuck List

[fredericks]

Alright, a few things. Right off the bat -

• FUCK the Red Sox. Fuck them up their consonant-dropping, substituting h's for r's when speaking asses. It's CAR, not CAH, dammit. Fuck Pedro Martinez and fuck "Nomah". Well, Nomar I really would fuck, but there's the whole restraining order thing...I'll get into it another time. The point is - screw 'em. That being said, youse guys better get all your cheering and celebrating in tonight and into the first game of the Divisional Finals, because the Yankees are going to send y'all home crying and wishing you'd never left Massachusetts.
  Yes, that's right, I'm a Bandwagon Bitch, but so what? It's not my fault the Mets couldn't make it into the postseason and so I'm left to cheer for the Yankees. Nor is it my fault that the Yankees HQ is in the Bronx (hey, just because I went to school there doesn't mean I didn't rush the hell out when I could).
  
  Next-
  
• Fuck my leg (no, not you, Krishna). It just demotivates me even more when my ankle hurts like crazy.
  
  Also -
  
• Fuck Catch-22s. Alright, so you employers want experience, right? But you won't hire anyone unless they have experience, right? So how does one go about getting experience if one can't get a fuckin' job?? I can't believe that in order to wash test tubes you need to have at least 6 months experience. I've been washing dishes since I was 8: that's 15 years of experience right there. Isn't that enough, dammit?
  
  
• Fuck cover letters and resume assembly in general. Some say they need to be specific to the job you're applying for, some say it doesn't matter. Some say resumes need to be no more than one page, some say throw on everything relevant irregardless [That is so not a word - Ed.] regardless. People, stop fuckin' asking me for cover letters unless you're telling me what jobs you're submitting my resume for. You're just making my life more complicated and more stressful.
  
  
• *sigh* Fuck higher expectations. It's hard to try to put your shit together and realize that, although you really want to work in a lab doing anything and everything, your work experience makes you more suited for investment banking or sales.
  
  And, lastly, because apparently I've been doing it all my life -
  
• Fuck myself. Because it's painfully obvious that things aren't going to work out the way I want and I'm not going to get a call back from Columbia. AND Wincze has yet to submit my grade for his goddamn class. And I've been avoiding my friends because I feel (selfishly enough) like coping with my own tenuous grip on reality is more than I'm capable of dealing with. AND, dammit, I feel like whining tonight. And being mopey. And listening to passable eighties music.
  

Comments

[gorzo.livejournal.com]

WHAT?? There's passable '80s music? Where did they hide it??

As for everything else- job hunting and resume writing sucks, Big-time. I'm wading through that particular septic tank right along with you. If it helps, I'm pulling for you, girl.

Word.

[gorzo.livejournal.com]

You should add the Fiskars scissors company to your list. Oh, how I hate those bastards!!