"Mini Weigi numba not-one."
Oct. 24th, 2004 09:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fredericksI've always wanted to use that in my journal. I say it as often as I can. So cute.
Alexa called me not too long ago. She's, I don't know, a great person and a weird person at the same time. I think part of her weirdness is that she puts up with me. Her and Jo both. I'm a fairly shitty friend, on the whole. I go through spells where I don't talk to people for months, and, you know, sometimes people take that the wrong way. I still care and think about people, even when I'm not communicating with them. For me, it's really comforting to know that they're around. I generally have just enough in common with my friends that we can have a good time, but not enough in common that I feel I can open up completely to them. So I have, like, none. A handful. Jo and Alexa seem to want to hang on to me for some reason, when everyone else has left me and my selfish ass behind. It's humbling. And sad.
But...yeah. Alexa calls and I hear her voice for the first time in maybe seven months (unexcusable, because we live on the same island). She asks about me and my folks, I say we're all good (meanwhile my brother is mimicking me and rolling his eyes, because our game of Mario Kart is on hold). I ask her about her med school work, and she tells me she's applied to her first choice schools. All thirty-one of them. I'm all shocked. Thirty-one? And you pay for all those apps, huh? It makes sense, yes, but why do I feel like I'm a fucking slacker when she says that? She's working on sending out the apps to her secondary schools. She says at least ten. I nod and wish her luck, not thinking she'll need it with all the damn schools she's applied to. After a few more minutes I tell her I'll call her tomorrow, hang up, and continue whuppin' major ass in Kart.
I do hope she gets into med school. She deserves it. But it made me realize how poorly I've planned. For everything. I have yet to get my apps ready for my schools. I have yet to check out all the schools I want to go to. I mean, I could theoretically hang out at Hunter for another year, but I've already told my folks I'll be a nurse by 2007. Boxed myself in a corner.
Dammit, man. I'm a slacker. And a miserable human being. Pathetic.
Alexa called me not too long ago. She's, I don't know, a great person and a weird person at the same time. I think part of her weirdness is that she puts up with me. Her and Jo both. I'm a fairly shitty friend, on the whole. I go through spells where I don't talk to people for months, and, you know, sometimes people take that the wrong way. I still care and think about people, even when I'm not communicating with them. For me, it's really comforting to know that they're around. I generally have just enough in common with my friends that we can have a good time, but not enough in common that I feel I can open up completely to them. So I have, like, none. A handful. Jo and Alexa seem to want to hang on to me for some reason, when everyone else has left me and my selfish ass behind. It's humbling. And sad.
But...yeah. Alexa calls and I hear her voice for the first time in maybe seven months (unexcusable, because we live on the same island). She asks about me and my folks, I say we're all good (meanwhile my brother is mimicking me and rolling his eyes, because our game of Mario Kart is on hold). I ask her about her med school work, and she tells me she's applied to her first choice schools. All thirty-one of them. I'm all shocked. Thirty-one? And you pay for all those apps, huh? It makes sense, yes, but why do I feel like I'm a fucking slacker when she says that? She's working on sending out the apps to her secondary schools. She says at least ten. I nod and wish her luck, not thinking she'll need it with all the damn schools she's applied to. After a few more minutes I tell her I'll call her tomorrow, hang up, and continue whuppin' major ass in Kart.
I do hope she gets into med school. She deserves it. But it made me realize how poorly I've planned. For everything. I have yet to get my apps ready for my schools. I have yet to check out all the schools I want to go to. I mean, I could theoretically hang out at Hunter for another year, but I've already told my folks I'll be a nurse by 2007. Boxed myself in a corner.
Dammit, man. I'm a slacker. And a miserable human being. Pathetic.
