fredericks

My underwear has a hole in it. A hole in the crotch. And I'm not going to change it.

Lord help me if I have to get sent to the emergency room for something tomorrow. My mom will be so ashamed.
"Alright guys, let's get her pants off and look at that leg wo-oh my God! Her underwear has a hole in it!! Quick, call ER down here, let them get a look at this! Ha!"

Okay, true story: I had a major crush on this guy in one of the school's numerous acappella groups into my junior year. He also happened to work as an EMT on campus. When I get involved in an accident, guess who's one of the people that picks me up? And guess who's the person who has to remove my shirt and palpitate my abdomen to check for internal injuries? And guess who's the girl who chose to wear her badly tattered underwire bra? Yeah. I knew I was okay when even with the great pain I was feeling I could feel such an overwhelming sense of embarrassment during the whole shindig. My crush died right there, during the long morphine-less ride to the hospital.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to dig up another set of undies now...