No one is unique
May. 5th, 2003 04:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fredericksWhenever I feel like I'm alone someone posts something like this to remind me that there really is no such thing as a unique situation or emotion. I felt I should have responded to my fellow student but what would I have said? Heh. Bon mots about how it's just school and there are so many worse things that can happen are fucking retarded and tiresome.
I posted back in march about being extremely depressed and being on the verge of suicide. Since then I've been on medication in heavy-duty psychotherapy, none of which really worked. Since then, I have done little or no work. I've consistently asked my profs for extension and after extension, until finally I saw the dean of student life and he wrote a letter to all my profs saying i've been dealing with depression. Right now I'm paying for my inability to work. I have so much to do and it's eating me alive but I can't seem to do anything, like totally incapacitated. I can't ask for another extension because I've asked for like 10 this semester. But from here on out I have 50+ pages of papers to write, and I don't have the will to start (in my mind i'm like 'well why didn't i start like a month ago) and i just feel more fucked than i can handle. i want to end it all right now; i feel like a complete failure, have no real friends who care about me, have no idea where i'm living this summer, losing touch with who i once was and what i'm truly passionate about, weeks and weeks behind in all my classes. i feel like the ghost of a total stranger. consequentially i am cold to people who try to reach out because i fear vulnerability. so pretty much my life sucks.
I posted back in march about being extremely depressed and being on the verge of suicide. Since then I've been on medication in heavy-duty psychotherapy, none of which really worked. Since then, I have done little or no work. I've consistently asked my profs for extension and after extension, until finally I saw the dean of student life and he wrote a letter to all my profs saying i've been dealing with depression. Right now I'm paying for my inability to work. I have so much to do and it's eating me alive but I can't seem to do anything, like totally incapacitated. I can't ask for another extension because I've asked for like 10 this semester. But from here on out I have 50+ pages of papers to write, and I don't have the will to start (in my mind i'm like 'well why didn't i start like a month ago) and i just feel more fucked than i can handle. i want to end it all right now; i feel like a complete failure, have no real friends who care about me, have no idea where i'm living this summer, losing touch with who i once was and what i'm truly passionate about, weeks and weeks behind in all my classes. i feel like the ghost of a total stranger. consequentially i am cold to people who try to reach out because i fear vulnerability. so pretty much my life sucks.
