Krishna and me (redux)

[fredericks]

We were supposed to take Krishna to the vet this afternoon to take her to the vet to put her to sleep (such a lovely euphemism). I backed out. She has an incurable cancer, with a massive lump on the side of her head that makes it nearly impossible for her to open her jaw and is slowly causing her left eye to bulge out. I wouldn't be surprised if she's blind on that side by now. BUT when is it time to say "it's time"?

I'd called to make the appointment on Tuesday, because the day before she'd done nothing. She didn't want to move and she barely tried to eat her food. However, by the next day she was up and about. Now she more or less eats but she spends most of her time plopped in the back, sleeping or laying down. It's an incredibly difficult call for me - on one hand I want her around as long as possible and on the other I don't want her to suffer.

I was deliberating about what to do this morning. I asked my mom for her input and she was less than helpful. I spoke with my aunt as well, and she did a great job of making me feel like a shit for saying that I don't think I can take having Krishna in pain. She claims she would keep her dogs alive until they couldn't move anymore, one of the cruelest thing I think you can do. Eh.

The plan at the moment is to take Krishna to church on Sunday, since it's the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi. For my peace of mind I want to take her to service. And it'd be cool to take the creature I love to a place I've grown to enjoy (because I can, here I'm going to link to the church's website and here I'm going to link to last Sunday's sermon which I thought was amazingly awesome but it really helps when you have Rev. Tully reading it in his totally natural way). And then, afterwards...maybe we'll put her to sleep, maybe we'll bring her home. I just don't know.

Comments

[daymare47.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm so sorry you're going through this. My mom refused to put her dog down, even though she was in constant pain and misery. She finally died a couple months ago, and was almost 17 years old.

[fredericks.livejournal.com]

It's a hard decision to make, and so I can understand where your mom was coming from. Thanks for the sympathy.

[lostcrackerjack.livejournal.com]

Aw. :'(

I just can't imagine having to do that, it must be tearing you up inside. Our pets are deeply imbedded into our lives...aren't they? Even though it's in the best interest of Krishna...... I still got choked up just reading about it, I'm so sorry.

[fredericks.livejournal.com]

Our pets are deeply imbedded into our lives...aren't they?
They find a way to worm into your heart, yes. Thanks for the sympathy, D.

[tjfalcon.livejournal.com]

I sorry you have to go through this. But it's not like what happened to my favorite pet, "Oh and by the way, we put the dog down two months ago." Fuck my dad.

[fredericks.livejournal.com]

Fuck my dad.
Is that a command?

That's some cold-blooded shit right there. I'm sorry you had to deal with it.

[tjfalcon.livejournal.com]

Not a command. Apparently he stopped doing that some years ago. But yep, it was very cold.

[captainschlumpy.livejournal.com]

Wow, what a tough decision. I can honestly say that I don't think there is a "right" time for this. You have to go with how you feel and what's best for the dog. I've only had to deal with it once and I just sat and thought, what would I want for me? Would I want to live in constant pain? Is it fair to make anouther creature suffer just so I feel better? In the end I decided to put the dog to sleep before she couldn't feed herself, or move comfortably. I made sure she had all her favorite foods and a great day swimming at the river and then had the vet do a house call. she was euthanized on her own dog bed with the family there to send her off. Good luck. There isn't a wrong decision.

[fredericks.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the reply and thank you so very much for sharing your experience. Putting Krishna to sleep in the house would be an option I'd want to look into, but my mom's pretty superstitious and would freak out if I brought "death into the house". *sigh* Oh, the countdown until I have a steady income and can move out.

Krishna actually seems to be doing pretty well now. She isn't running around that much, but she's alert when you call her and such. Because of that I don't think I'm going to do it now, but wait for a little while longer. Not until she's completely disabled, though. It'd be unfair of me.

[xwinterwolfx.livejournal.com]

As much as I love animals I could never watch one suffer. I'm so sorry, this must be horrible. :(