Sweet Jesus

[fredericks]

My menstrual cramps were so bad last night that I dreamt I was in labor. No frakking joke. I remember lying in the hospital bed with my someone next to me, perhaps the guy who'd knocked me up although I can't recall the face at the moment, and I was getting pissed because the "contractions" were coming relatively infrequently so I knew I wasn't dilating much. I ended up getting up and walking around the hospital with the irrational fear in the back of my head that I'd suddenly dilate the full 10cm and my baby would plop his/her way out on the nicely polished marble floor. Things fastforwarded to the delivery where I was freaking out about "pushing through the tearing" [ladies will know what I'm talking about, the gents can think about what's coming out from where and figure things out...don't you wish you could have babies now?] and then, I had a baby. A baby girl. A precocious talking baby girl whom I fed with a sippy cup. Yeah.

No more OB studying for me, I tell you what.

Comments

[twoworldsin1.livejournal.com]

Just don't forget to tell the OB to "put in an extra stitch for the daddy". ;)

[fredericks.livejournal.com]

You know, if you're going to impregnate me in my dream the least you can do is stay around to view the kid.

Hmph. Some guys.

[twoworldsin1.livejournal.com]

What? Is that how women feel about it? Believe me, I know even the most dedicated husbands and fathers wouldn't want to stick around to watch something crawling out of their wife's most private crevice. I had the privilege of watching exactly one live birth on video, and one was enough for me. I never wanted to touch another vagina again after that. (That feeling soon passed.)

[fredericks.livejournal.com]

Ha. Seriously, I would want my SO to be in the room with me during the delivery. He doesn't have to be up "in the bidness" (hells, I've only seen a vaginal through large colorful illustrations in my textbook and even I was freaked out) but at least willing to stay with me and give me moral support as I push a child that's 50% his out of my chocha (and, yes, before you ask - "chocha" IS the correct medical term).