![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Mom started up on the usual speech when she was so kindly dropping me to work after we'd attended church yesterday. She always mentions this chick Janet, who's mom is a friend of the family, and who is apparently at an excellent job and (I'm quoting her here) "travelling the world". Now I know how Jo felt when her mom used to use *me* as an example all the time. I just want to walk up to Janet, pimp-smack her, and walk away. And it's not like I dislike her! It's just that I'm so damned tired of hearing about how she's doing so well and I'm doing so poorly. I know everything that my mother is saying is correct. And valid. I *should* have done a number of things differently before I left Brown. But I *can't* go back in time and change those now. All I can do is start from the present. She keeps bringing that stuff up, I guess, because she just really wants to vent. And it's tons more effective to vent while yelling at the person who fucked up. Because it's obvious that person is happy as a clam in their current rather unfortunate situation. She claims that the fact that I haven't told her I'm looking for a job leads her to believe that I'm not looking for a job. I don't tell this woman ANYTHING, though. My mother has no idea who I am or what I do with my time. So how does my being quiet on the matter mean anything?
She also claims she knows plently of people's children that have graduated from college and gone on to lucrative jobs. I know who she's talking about: Janet, and two other children of one of her co-workers, one who's a fuckin' laywer for the government, the other who's a goddamned NEUROSURGEON and lives in a huge house in Connecticut. How am I supposed to measure up to those people, the last two especially? Here's the thing, mom. You only hear from the people who's children are in great jobs, making ooddles of money. Most of the rest of the populace, whose children are stuck with a fancy degree from a great school and are in menial job, aren't going to say shit. Why would they? How would their kids measure up? And what upsets me more than anything is how much of her damn ego is tied into me doing well. I wish I could say that she just wanted me to be happy and to be able to support myself and for me to live a good life. But if she did she wouldn't be so insistent with the name droppings of those other people's children, now would she? Wouldn't she realize that me going to nursing school would leave me better off financially, even if I have to flounder a bit to get there. And even if I have to work at Radioshack in the meantime, a place where I can make my schedule if I need to? (And don't start with the posts about how I need to see things from her point of view. Trust me, I'm doing the best of that that I can, and I also know that I'm not looking all-out for a new job. I'm *venting* here, peeps).
When I first got the job at RS, I wasn't upset. I'd putted around for almost two months with no income and I had bills to pay. I didn't feel like the job was beneath me. Why would I feel that way? There are more than enough of my fellow students that were fuckin' jobless, *and* had more loans to pay off than I did. But everyone else? "You went to Brown and now you're working at Radioshack?" I knew the job wasn't half of what I was capable of. It still isn't, but there's no need to make me feel more shitty than I'd be apt to feel at times. But if mention all of that they don't understand. It's just tiring. Very very tiring.
But enough of my bitching.
Yesterday was inventory. Fun! I worked from 11 in the morning to 2 AM the next day. I should have mentioned I had a bad leg, but I figure the pity would have been stupid. In-between counts a co-worker started up on Robert Jordan's work and how it's decreased in quality. He proposed sending Jordan's publisher book 1 and book 9 of Wheel of Time, accompanied by the following note: "If you can't tell the difference between these two books, something is *seriously* wrong with you". This guy's hilarious.
I was slightly miffed because I missed the kick-ass QAF epi. 204, I think it was (sorry I didn't get to drop you a line![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
whispingheather, when's the next one, do you know? and did I miss anything terribly exciting?). But I got a good excuse not to head in to the shop this morning, so eh.
Well, well, look at the time. It's off to work, off to work.
She also claims she knows plently of people's children that have graduated from college and gone on to lucrative jobs. I know who she's talking about: Janet, and two other children of one of her co-workers, one who's a fuckin' laywer for the government, the other who's a goddamned NEUROSURGEON and lives in a huge house in Connecticut. How am I supposed to measure up to those people, the last two especially? Here's the thing, mom. You only hear from the people who's children are in great jobs, making ooddles of money. Most of the rest of the populace, whose children are stuck with a fancy degree from a great school and are in menial job, aren't going to say shit. Why would they? How would their kids measure up? And what upsets me more than anything is how much of her damn ego is tied into me doing well. I wish I could say that she just wanted me to be happy and to be able to support myself and for me to live a good life. But if she did she wouldn't be so insistent with the name droppings of those other people's children, now would she? Wouldn't she realize that me going to nursing school would leave me better off financially, even if I have to flounder a bit to get there. And even if I have to work at Radioshack in the meantime, a place where I can make my schedule if I need to? (And don't start with the posts about how I need to see things from her point of view. Trust me, I'm doing the best of that that I can, and I also know that I'm not looking all-out for a new job. I'm *venting* here, peeps).
When I first got the job at RS, I wasn't upset. I'd putted around for almost two months with no income and I had bills to pay. I didn't feel like the job was beneath me. Why would I feel that way? There are more than enough of my fellow students that were fuckin' jobless, *and* had more loans to pay off than I did. But everyone else? "You went to Brown and now you're working at Radioshack?" I knew the job wasn't half of what I was capable of. It still isn't, but there's no need to make me feel more shitty than I'd be apt to feel at times. But if mention all of that they don't understand. It's just tiring. Very very tiring.
But enough of my bitching.
Yesterday was inventory. Fun! I worked from 11 in the morning to 2 AM the next day. I should have mentioned I had a bad leg, but I figure the pity would have been stupid. In-between counts a co-worker started up on Robert Jordan's work and how it's decreased in quality. He proposed sending Jordan's publisher book 1 and book 9 of Wheel of Time, accompanied by the following note: "If you can't tell the difference between these two books, something is *seriously* wrong with you". This guy's hilarious.
I was slightly miffed because I missed the kick-ass QAF epi. 204, I think it was (sorry I didn't get to drop you a line
whispingheather, when's the next one, do you know? and did I miss anything terribly exciting?). But I got a good excuse not to head in to the shop this morning, so eh. Well, well, look at the time. It's off to work, off to work.
