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Mar. 22nd, 2005 12:47 amI had two flashes of insight today. They're noteworthy because I usually plod through my day sucking everything up like a sponge with very few emotional/visceral reactions. One was that I want to be a psychologist. The other is that I'm definitely crushing (heh) on my Ethics professor. It was funny the way they happened; if I was in a cartoon I'd have had light bulbs suddenly appear over my head as they materialized.
The psychologist thing came about as we were talking about childhood attachment in the Developmental Psych class. I remembered a large amount on the topic and I still find it all so fascinating. I don't want to be a child psychologist (least I don't think I want to be), but I found myself saying "Yup, I want to do this work". I detest research though.
Hmm. Just, I don't know. As the eminent sage and [procrastination] junkie Bert is wont to say of late, "Life isn't a race". This I realize. But I also realize life is short and uncertain. You never know when you'll be gone. I want to get to a place where I can say "Yes, I'm doing what I love" as soon as possible. For self-fulfillment, satisfaction...I don't know, so that it isn't all a waste. The fact that I have so many people who have such high hopes for me certainly isn't making me any more comfortable with the fact that I was valedictorian of my elementary, went to one of the top HS's in NYC, went on to a Ivy League school, graduated with a Bachelor of Science, and am currently living at home while trying to figure out what the fook I should do next. But that's for another post.
The second flash came to me in the middle of Ethics. I've been unabashedly enamored with my professor since day one, I think. He's dorky and doughy and quippy...it's a lethal combination for me. It's just a great class and he's a cool guy. And he's married, so, no, I'm not looking to make a move. Besides - ME? Make a move? Don't make me choke on my water. I only typed that because it'd be expected.
Mailed out a registration form for a City Position, Child Protection Specialist. If it's like any other city job the wait will be two years AT LEAST before anything is heard (making me wish I'd taken the damn exam while I was still at Brown), but it might be something to look forward to if everything falls through.
Total tangent - Heh! The Mystic Quest Final Boss theme song just cued up on Winamp. That was the first video game I played through to completion. I think my mom was happy to see me exhibit interest in something outside of books; so much so that she actually let me call up the Squaresoft gaming help hotline twice (at something like 1 buck for the first minute and 50 cents a minute after that) when I was stuck in the Ice Cavern. I'll never forget when I actually beat the Boss. I was so hyped I think I woke my brother and mom up to show them (this was late at night). Thus began my RPG love.
Anyway, back on topic (topic?): today was okay. I smiled a bit while walking around the campus, which is rare as hell for me. Don't know why. Things aren't particularly looking up, but there's no foreseeable shitstorms immediately ahead - I suppose that'd make it a good spell for me.
I have bunch to do. I always want to post more here (do people want to read more? *snort*), I have e-mails to send out, Thank you notes to compose, and applications to get together for next Spring/Fall (along with possible Psych grad school stuff to look into). We'll see how everything goes.
The psychologist thing came about as we were talking about childhood attachment in the Developmental Psych class. I remembered a large amount on the topic and I still find it all so fascinating. I don't want to be a child psychologist (least I don't think I want to be), but I found myself saying "Yup, I want to do this work". I detest research though.
Hmm. Just, I don't know. As the eminent sage and [procrastination] junkie Bert is wont to say of late, "Life isn't a race". This I realize. But I also realize life is short and uncertain. You never know when you'll be gone. I want to get to a place where I can say "Yes, I'm doing what I love" as soon as possible. For self-fulfillment, satisfaction...I don't know, so that it isn't all a waste. The fact that I have so many people who have such high hopes for me certainly isn't making me any more comfortable with the fact that I was valedictorian of my elementary, went to one of the top HS's in NYC, went on to a Ivy League school, graduated with a Bachelor of Science, and am currently living at home while trying to figure out what the fook I should do next. But that's for another post.
The second flash came to me in the middle of Ethics. I've been unabashedly enamored with my professor since day one, I think. He's dorky and doughy and quippy...it's a lethal combination for me. It's just a great class and he's a cool guy. And he's married, so, no, I'm not looking to make a move. Besides - ME? Make a move? Don't make me choke on my water. I only typed that because it'd be expected.
Mailed out a registration form for a City Position, Child Protection Specialist. If it's like any other city job the wait will be two years AT LEAST before anything is heard (making me wish I'd taken the damn exam while I was still at Brown), but it might be something to look forward to if everything falls through.
Total tangent - Heh! The Mystic Quest Final Boss theme song just cued up on Winamp. That was the first video game I played through to completion. I think my mom was happy to see me exhibit interest in something outside of books; so much so that she actually let me call up the Squaresoft gaming help hotline twice (at something like 1 buck for the first minute and 50 cents a minute after that) when I was stuck in the Ice Cavern. I'll never forget when I actually beat the Boss. I was so hyped I think I woke my brother and mom up to show them (this was late at night). Thus began my RPG love.
Anyway, back on topic (topic?): today was okay. I smiled a bit while walking around the campus, which is rare as hell for me. Don't know why. Things aren't particularly looking up, but there's no foreseeable shitstorms immediately ahead - I suppose that'd make it a good spell for me.
I have bunch to do. I always want to post more here (do people want to read more? *snort*), I have e-mails to send out, Thank you notes to compose, and applications to get together for next Spring/Fall (along with possible Psych grad school stuff to look into). We'll see how everything goes.
