"We love you Maaaat-lock..."

We just returned from a cousin's Sweet Sixteen party, and I don't mean to get all Andy Rooney up in this joint but - what's going on with young kids nowadays?? Seriously. Is it the milk? Is it our use of microwave ovens? Young girls are really REALLY developed. And, fine, I got my first menses when I was thirteen or so, and my first training bra when I was eleven? twelve? but my shit wasn't out on display for the world to see and I wasn't "dropping it like it's hot"...at least, not when adults were around. God, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I feel like I should be slurping down some Metamucil while watching Matlock or something. Someone has to feel where I'm coming from, though.

Whatever the hell. I got the DJ to play "The Humpty Dance" and I shook my groove thang to "Poison", so it's all good.