You *amuse* me

[fredericks]

All of the paperwork is done on my end re: jobbyjob. Barring failure of my med exam and my background check I should be good to go. I'm nervous, and I'm combatting the jitters by trying to review as much of GI as possible (the manager said GI ailments tend to end up on the floor more than anything else). My aunt seems more excited about the work prospect than anyone in my household, and she's more or less strong-arming me into going to church before my first day of training. I'd rather head out to St. Barts but she has this "day" planned where she intends to invite my aunts from SI and Jersey over and then we go to her church Saturday evening. I'm meh about it - pretty sure she goes to a Catholic church and the RCs and I haven't seen eye-to-eye for more than five years - but I'm touched she cares enough to organize something. I'll go along and try not to feign paying attention.
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I'd like to say that it's obvious the secret ingredient in the brand of jalapeno-infused hummus Costco carries is CRACK, because I cannot.put.it.down. I had some hummus for breakfast, hummus as snack, and then I skipped dinner entirely to indulge in hummus and crackers. Soooo good.

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More Chaucer blog hilarity.

“Yay!” ich roos vp thanne and spoke with noble steven, “For the Reaume mesemeth is in gret peril from the malicious Frensshe, in greter peril than evir bifor. For a Frensshe flete hath ygadrid to make invasioun vpon ower lande. Gret peril! We must all drede the peril! For the Frensshe shal turn al of our filmes in to non-linear meditaciouns vpon lyf and deeth both insouciant and melancolie. And eek thei shal destroyen...”

“Namoore of this, for Goddes dignitee,” quod the knight, “What maner doofus artow, that thou rehersest the talkinge poyntez of the kinge? For thei haue all been addressid and defeatid. Ay, the Frensshe do seeke to make werre vpon vs, but the moost freshe newes saith that their fleet is all kindes of disorganized and bad wedir hath y-messed-vp ther shippes. No attack loometh as yet. As for the threte thei pose to ower cinema, ich wolde thinke that ‘Love Actually’ doth prove that ower cinema is a threte vnto itself.”

Depending on how rested I am I can usually make out the bastardized middle English being used with little fuss. This time around I had to read it aloud, and I was broadsided by the jokes. Seriously, the lions? That one just crept up on me and when I figured out where it was going I laughed so hard had to put my head down for a second. Only thing I can't figure out is the reference in the last couple of lines. If anyone follows the link and reads the entry and figures something out please let me know.

The Halloween entry from Sir John Mandeville, Knight of St Albans (that amuses me to no goddamned end; sort of an in-joke) is also chuckle-worthy.
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ESPN.com's Sportsnation polls are gnarly. You vote on whatever and then the results are tallied and given by location. Maybe this is my nerdiness shining through, but I can't get enough of them. It was funny as all hell to see the answer to the question "Which QB should the Cowboys start - Bledsoe or Romo?" Romo won Texas and most of the southern and western states, but the New England states were all about Bledsoe. Who says loyalty is dead?

Some more things that are gnarly? The LeBron James Nike commercials. Genius!

Comments

[bbart.livejournal.com]

It must be the jalapenos that that are infused with crack in them because Costco also makes a spinach dip with little jalapenoo bits and damn damn damn I could eat a bucket of it.

[fredericks.livejournal.com]

Great. Now when I go back to get another hit I'll have something else to add to the menu.