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fredericksOr, "I entered the Bee and all I got was this lousy Finalist button and a juice box".
I got to see The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee tonight. I'd expressed interest in checking it out for a little while, and Jo decided to get a pair of tickets and give the trip as a Christmas present. I'd worked into the morning so I had time to come in, take a shower, and grab a couple of hours of sleep before we made our way out to the city. We went to Ruby Foos for dinner (verdict: the food quality doesn't live up to the price tag, but pretension does seem to carry a hefty fee) and, after I tanked up on an espresso or two, we went in to the theatre.
On entering the lower level (decorated to replicate a typical elementary school, down to the school cafeteria snack area) we were accosted by a show employee, asking us if we wanted to try out to participate in the Bee. Now, going in I'd forgotten that some audience members were asked to join in on the festivities. Jo was decidely against going up, while I was sort of stoked. The employee asked me a couple of general questions about what I did - I told her I was a nurse - and then asked if I had any relevant experience, wherein I told her I'd lost in the Regionals of the real National Geographic Spelling Bee. Thinking back now I'm pretty sure I lost at the District level, but yadda yadda details. This is what happened:
Right. So I shared the abbreviated version with the woman, and she wrote it down then shoo'd me over to the guy who was interviewing folks in pairs to determine who'd get up on stage. He asked me where I worked ("Long Island"), whether I was a good speller or not ("so-so"), and whether I did crosswords or word games ("on the occasion"). He then told us (because I was interviewed alongside another gent) to gather around the table in a couple of minutes to find out if we'd gotten a part in the show. When I was done I got hit with a case of nerves and had half a mind to grab Jo and head to our seats, forgetting the whole "part in the play/possible public humiliation" thing. But I sucked it up and stayed put. I got called -obviously, otherwise there'd be no point to the subtitle of this entry- and was ushered to the sound room of the theatre along with the three other audience members chosen. There we got prompted on how to behave ("be yourself/no hamming it up/try your best to spell the words"), personalized directions on how to get to the stage ("to the right/don't block the actors"), and pins we were to affix to our persons that said "Putnam County Spelling Bee" finalist. We were also told for the fourth or fifth time that the show would be raunchy (it was Adult Night at the Bee) and that we should take all the jabs our way in good fun. Then we were asked to return to our seats in the theatre and wait to get called up to the stage.
I was nervous but my part in the event as a whole was fun. After the opening number all the "extra" spellers in the audience were called up by name to the stage, given numbers to wear around our necks, and then moved to seats on the bleachers in-between the actors. Another number was sung, and then the actual spelling began. Again, I was nervous; I kept flashing back to losing in the first round back in elementary and really didn't want to make an ass of myself by screwing up the first word. Three actors went up and then my name was called. There was some semi-funny background humor given as I made my way to the stage ("She is the president of the Michael Richards fan club"...haha, errr, no) and then my word? Jenkins. Or jerkins. Whichever it was the definition I was given threw me for a loop ("a clapping game played by children"...I'm still half-convinced it's a filthy word they made up) and it should have been easy but I slowly spelled my way through it. I honestly didn't mean to make it seem like I was being purposely hammy, but I *really* didn't want to make a complete fool of myself. I also didn't mean to bring the cheese by fist-pumping when I was done; I was just thrilled not to lose immediately. One of the audience participants got out during the first round (her word was very difficult, no doubt done that way on purpose). Then came another song by the cast, where the remaining audience members and myself got to dance around a bit and make collective idiots of ourselves, then back to the spelling.
This was when I lost. My word? Dengue. I'd like to think TPTB kept in mind I was a nurse and decided to give me a medical word, but dengue??? I'm not treating any damn cases of dengue out on LI! Jebus. I'd never heard of the word *until* I was given it. And the pronunciation threw me. It was embarrassing, the loss, but at least I got past the first round (yay! to excising demons) and I got a juice box and hug from Mitch the Counselor, along with some nice applause from the audience. The last audience member to get eliminated (we audience members got no more than three words, be it because of poor spelling on our part or necessity on the part of the musical) got a song sung to her and some personalized attention from the entire cast (she also had the easiest words of all of us..."finger"? "indigent"? come the hell on...not that I'm bitter any).
The show itself was funny, even though I felt they raunched up the material to the point where the story got sidetracked to the point of distraction on certain occasions. Then again, I haven't seen the non-adult version of the show so it may be a little disjointed at even the best of times. Nevertheless, I laughed a lot. Jesus made an appearance, and when the Lord shows up and tells a character to use prophylaxes upon becoming sexually active ("but don't tell anyone I told you that") the show's automatically for the Win.
I got to see The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee tonight. I'd expressed interest in checking it out for a little while, and Jo decided to get a pair of tickets and give the trip as a Christmas present. I'd worked into the morning so I had time to come in, take a shower, and grab a couple of hours of sleep before we made our way out to the city. We went to Ruby Foos for dinner (verdict: the food quality doesn't live up to the price tag, but pretension does seem to carry a hefty fee) and, after I tanked up on an espresso or two, we went in to the theatre.
On entering the lower level (decorated to replicate a typical elementary school, down to the school cafeteria snack area) we were accosted by a show employee, asking us if we wanted to try out to participate in the Bee. Now, going in I'd forgotten that some audience members were asked to join in on the festivities. Jo was decidely against going up, while I was sort of stoked. The employee asked me a couple of general questions about what I did - I told her I was a nurse - and then asked if I had any relevant experience, wherein I told her I'd lost in the Regionals of the real National Geographic Spelling Bee. Thinking back now I'm pretty sure I lost at the District level, but yadda yadda details. This is what happened:
Me, in 6th grade. Or was it 5th grade? Meh, the actual year's sort of a blur. Anyway, in elementary I won my class-wide spelling bee, which allowed me to move onto the school-wide bee. We held the school-wide during a special auditorium period. Lots of pressure, lots of butterflies, and somehow I managed to win. I hold that I lucked out with the words, but whateverthehell. The next level (district-wide?) was a couple of weeks later, and to help my effort along my school gave me this National Geographic word study book, more or less a huge list of words which I was supposed to study...? Obviously, being me, I didn't, and obviously, being me, I lost in the next round. On my first word. "Barracks". B-a-r-r-a-c-k-s. I read a lot as a kid, but nothing military. I couldn't even say I blanked on the word as much as I had no bloody idea what it was (easily fixed by asking the stall questions "can I have the definition/the word in a sentence?") or how to spell it (key, of course). I'm pretty sure I threw an "x" in the end of the word, and sat through a handful of rounds in the audience with my cheeks on fire before getting my parents to agree to leave during the first intermission. The whole experience was terribly traumatizing, and I plan on spending a good 15-20 minutes on the event in future therapy sessions.
Right. So I shared the abbreviated version with the woman, and she wrote it down then shoo'd me over to the guy who was interviewing folks in pairs to determine who'd get up on stage. He asked me where I worked ("Long Island"), whether I was a good speller or not ("so-so"), and whether I did crosswords or word games ("on the occasion"). He then told us (because I was interviewed alongside another gent) to gather around the table in a couple of minutes to find out if we'd gotten a part in the show. When I was done I got hit with a case of nerves and had half a mind to grab Jo and head to our seats, forgetting the whole "part in the play/possible public humiliation" thing. But I sucked it up and stayed put. I got called -obviously, otherwise there'd be no point to the subtitle of this entry- and was ushered to the sound room of the theatre along with the three other audience members chosen. There we got prompted on how to behave ("be yourself/no hamming it up/try your best to spell the words"), personalized directions on how to get to the stage ("to the right/don't block the actors"), and pins we were to affix to our persons that said "Putnam County Spelling Bee" finalist. We were also told for the fourth or fifth time that the show would be raunchy (it was Adult Night at the Bee) and that we should take all the jabs our way in good fun. Then we were asked to return to our seats in the theatre and wait to get called up to the stage.
I was nervous but my part in the event as a whole was fun. After the opening number all the "extra" spellers in the audience were called up by name to the stage, given numbers to wear around our necks, and then moved to seats on the bleachers in-between the actors. Another number was sung, and then the actual spelling began. Again, I was nervous; I kept flashing back to losing in the first round back in elementary and really didn't want to make an ass of myself by screwing up the first word. Three actors went up and then my name was called. There was some semi-funny background humor given as I made my way to the stage ("She is the president of the Michael Richards fan club"...haha, errr, no) and then my word? Jenkins. Or jerkins. Whichever it was the definition I was given threw me for a loop ("a clapping game played by children"...I'm still half-convinced it's a filthy word they made up) and it should have been easy but I slowly spelled my way through it. I honestly didn't mean to make it seem like I was being purposely hammy, but I *really* didn't want to make a complete fool of myself. I also didn't mean to bring the cheese by fist-pumping when I was done; I was just thrilled not to lose immediately. One of the audience participants got out during the first round (her word was very difficult, no doubt done that way on purpose). Then came another song by the cast, where the remaining audience members and myself got to dance around a bit and make collective idiots of ourselves, then back to the spelling.
This was when I lost. My word? Dengue. I'd like to think TPTB kept in mind I was a nurse and decided to give me a medical word, but dengue??? I'm not treating any damn cases of dengue out on LI! Jebus. I'd never heard of the word *until* I was given it. And the pronunciation threw me. It was embarrassing, the loss, but at least I got past the first round (yay! to excising demons) and I got a juice box and hug from Mitch the Counselor, along with some nice applause from the audience. The last audience member to get eliminated (we audience members got no more than three words, be it because of poor spelling on our part or necessity on the part of the musical) got a song sung to her and some personalized attention from the entire cast (she also had the easiest words of all of us..."finger"? "indigent"? come the hell on...not that I'm bitter any).
The show itself was funny, even though I felt they raunched up the material to the point where the story got sidetracked to the point of distraction on certain occasions. Then again, I haven't seen the non-adult version of the show so it may be a little disjointed at even the best of times. Nevertheless, I laughed a lot. Jesus made an appearance, and when the Lord shows up and tells a character to use prophylaxes upon becoming sexually active ("but don't tell anyone I told you that") the show's automatically for the Win.
