A fair and nuanced review

[fredericks]

Ninja Assassin is an awful movie. An awful, AWFUL movie. I mean, the thing is truly dreadful and deserves to only be shown to drunk and/or high folks at midnight showings across the country for the full MST3K experience.

In conclusion: homg, so bad!

Comments

[stormbringer986.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure they should have scrubbed out any attempt at plot, renamed the movie "Gratuitous Violence With A Random Shirtless Hot Guy", and maybe cut off an hour of the run time. Maybe then it would have been somewhat bearable. Or not.

Rain was pretty hot. But the movie was freaking atrocious. All I could think when it got to the end credits was "FINALLY! I've been dying for this thing to end for the past hour and 20 minutes."

[fredericks.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure they should have scrubbed out any attempt at plot, renamed the movie "Gratuitous Violence With A Random Shirtless Hot Guy", and maybe cut off an hour of the run time. Maybe then it would have been somewhat bearable. Or not.
Every time they cut to the stupid female agent and her weird ninja fetish/obsession in an attempt to flesh out the "plot" I rolled my eyes. And all the flashbacks with the child torture! My God, I keep saying "this is a Child Protective Services public service announcement waiting to happen." I really wanted to walk up to the screen and say "Shh!, baby; don't talk, just kill people with neat CGI effects." It wasn't cooperating.

And the first five minutes had potential! Not much, but still. I looked at my watch a lot during that movie.