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Jul. 20th, 2010 10:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fredericksI ended up meeting with the regional admin. before the workday officially began (we both come in godawful early out of habit) to tell her I was declining the education position. She asked me for my reason and I told her it was because I really didn't feel confident enough in my skills to be a point person. That was part of it, the other part that I didn't tell her was that the folks with that title tended to be tapped on a frequent basis to work as float staff on days when there are staffing issues. I regret not being honest with her about what swayed be against taking the job, but I thought if I told her the truth she'd feed me malarkey about how she'd try to prevent me from going out if I took the job and then I'd be forced to politely tell her she's lying. She did a hard sell, and hit me with "opportunities like this don't come around often," so I felt like a complete shit. Which she was aiming for, I'm sure. But, yeah. I don't think promotion opportunities are going to be dropping into my lap any time soon. *sigh*
I mean, look - I get that they wanted me for the job because they think I'm approachable and I do a great job of breaking tasks down to their component parts with newbies. But that's only half the battle: you need to have confidence in your clinical skills in order to instill those skills in others. And I'm not there. A small part of me thinks I'll never *be* there, as self-confidence is not my strong point. But now? definitely not. They tried to assure me that they'd give me the opportunities to better my skills before throwing me out there, but I have no confidence (ha) in their ability to actually follow through. And I'm not in favor of floundering, particularly since if I left my current post they'd replace me and I'd have no job to which to return.
RIght. So after that whole shitfest I put on my grievance rep. hat and met with a guy whose manager seemed keen on firing him. You don't instruct someone to bring all their employer given work hardware and ID just to have a quick chat. I'd called the manager Friday afternoon and left him a voicemail telling him I'd be accompanying the employee to the scheduled meeting. Of course the manager claimed not to have gotten my voicemail. And then he asked to reschedule so his boss was present: "I was planning on an informal meeting, but since you're going to be present we'll have to do this formally." Yeah, you were going to have an informal meeting and either fire your employee or try to put the fear of God in him. That manager is and was SUCH a douche nozzle. We're trying to find a day that works for all parties involved, which is difficult. I do hate to have this situation hanging over the employee's head.
In the gym afterward I found myself wrestling with non-buyer's remorse. What if I had taken the job? I would have loved working with the interns and new hires. I love doing it now. Thinking about it now still sorta makes me want to shun humanity for a bit and just sit alone in a corner somewhere. But, whatever. What happens (or doesn't happen), happens.
Today I was off from work, so Littlest Bro and I went to see Inception in IMAX. Inception is, hands down, the BEST movie I've seen this year. I loved it, and plan on seeing it again sometime soon. Things that usually bother me about films didn't bother me with this one: There was a good bit of expositional dialogue, but I found it never detracted from the momentum of the plot and scene pacing. The character names were almost cute in the way they fit: Ariadne was the most blatant, but it could have been stock the way the names worked out. But it sort of enhanced the mystique for me. And who didn't see the timing of the black screen at the end coming? Even that didn't detract from the overall experience. We both loved almost every minute of this movie, and I'm going to go back under to experience it all over again.
And, yo, how hot was my boy Joseph Gordon-Levitt in that thing? Come on, y'all. Cillian's baby blues, lips, and cheekbones are almost ethereal, but JGL is totally where it's at for me right now. The one annoying bit is that he's younger than me, but we can work with that! That's not a dealbreaker! *snort* Like I'm working out a bloody deal. Anyway.
Forecast for tomorrow? "Hazy, hot, and humid." Always fun when you're guaranteed to be kicked out of your air conditioned office to see patients.
I mean, look - I get that they wanted me for the job because they think I'm approachable and I do a great job of breaking tasks down to their component parts with newbies. But that's only half the battle: you need to have confidence in your clinical skills in order to instill those skills in others. And I'm not there. A small part of me thinks I'll never *be* there, as self-confidence is not my strong point. But now? definitely not. They tried to assure me that they'd give me the opportunities to better my skills before throwing me out there, but I have no confidence (ha) in their ability to actually follow through. And I'm not in favor of floundering, particularly since if I left my current post they'd replace me and I'd have no job to which to return.
RIght. So after that whole shitfest I put on my grievance rep. hat and met with a guy whose manager seemed keen on firing him. You don't instruct someone to bring all their employer given work hardware and ID just to have a quick chat. I'd called the manager Friday afternoon and left him a voicemail telling him I'd be accompanying the employee to the scheduled meeting. Of course the manager claimed not to have gotten my voicemail. And then he asked to reschedule so his boss was present: "I was planning on an informal meeting, but since you're going to be present we'll have to do this formally." Yeah, you were going to have an informal meeting and either fire your employee or try to put the fear of God in him. That manager is and was SUCH a douche nozzle. We're trying to find a day that works for all parties involved, which is difficult. I do hate to have this situation hanging over the employee's head.
In the gym afterward I found myself wrestling with non-buyer's remorse. What if I had taken the job? I would have loved working with the interns and new hires. I love doing it now. Thinking about it now still sorta makes me want to shun humanity for a bit and just sit alone in a corner somewhere. But, whatever. What happens (or doesn't happen), happens.
Today I was off from work, so Littlest Bro and I went to see Inception in IMAX. Inception is, hands down, the BEST movie I've seen this year. I loved it, and plan on seeing it again sometime soon. Things that usually bother me about films didn't bother me with this one: There was a good bit of expositional dialogue, but I found it never detracted from the momentum of the plot and scene pacing. The character names were almost cute in the way they fit: Ariadne was the most blatant, but it could have been stock the way the names worked out. But it sort of enhanced the mystique for me. And who didn't see the timing of the black screen at the end coming? Even that didn't detract from the overall experience. We both loved almost every minute of this movie, and I'm going to go back under to experience it all over again.
And, yo, how hot was my boy Joseph Gordon-Levitt in that thing? Come on, y'all. Cillian's baby blues, lips, and cheekbones are almost ethereal, but JGL is totally where it's at for me right now. The one annoying bit is that he's younger than me, but we can work with that! That's not a dealbreaker! *snort* Like I'm working out a bloody deal. Anyway.
Forecast for tomorrow? "Hazy, hot, and humid." Always fun when you're guaranteed to be kicked out of your air conditioned office to see patients.
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Date: 2010-07-29 01:50 am (UTC)