When my fingers get going...
Apr. 12th, 2004 10:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fredericksI just checked the books I'm listed as having checked out on the Queens Library website and Prozac Nation is still up there. So fucking pissed about that one it isn't even funny. Why oh why did I have to get the hardcover? I prefer them for aesthetic reasons, but now those reasons are going to leave a $35 dollar dent in my wallet.
The day's been passably agreeable. Got stuck at the shop this morning, even though I was really looking forward to staying in bed and sleeping until noonish then heading to work. She started up with the "speech". I feel like I'm giving her entirely too much credit; she has to know that her perfunctory yet polite "you're not doing anything tomorrow, are you?" followed up by a run-down of how screwed up everything in the shop is basically obligates you to rearrange what you're doing and go help. So I end up with workdays that start at 7:30 AM and end at 8:OO PM (if I don't mess up the drawer count and closing, that is). That's part of the reason I loathe going over there. Another reason? I dislike the guy brought in to "run" the business. Yet another reason? I'll never be keen on working for family. Never. You're way too likely to be fucked over if shit isn't going right. For first-hand evidence I can just look at all the endeavors my folks and my uncle have undergone. All of them craptacular, all of them divisive. I'd much rather take shit from others because they feel I don't "care about the family" or "think of others" and feel shitty because I'm feeling guilty than deal with all that.
Work at Le Shack was rather ho-hum. I screwed up on the deposit again last night, so I'm (again) waiting to be fired. It's a cheap thrill, what can I say? Some guy came in with a satellite dish demanding compensation, even though we no longer deal with that company *and* he's the one that installed the dish. One of the more callous (yet totally hilarious) workers just shrugged and told the guy we couldn't help him. That led to lots of bravado, raised voices, and wielding of broken dual LNP pieces. And me running to the back to the store dying of laughter. I know that I should have stepped up, said I was in charge, and attempted to diffuse the situation. But, puleeze!, I don't get paid enough for that. One of the more diplomatic workers managed to restore peace, and then we all spent a good twenty minutes laughing until we cried and recounting all the times we'd been physically threated by customers. Minimum wage jobs that you're vastly overqualified for: gotta love 'em.
Got a call back (finally) from something that's not vaguely demeaning. Score, a nation-wide tutoring/afterschool company, called me back, astonishing me immensely. I submitted my resume last night, expecting the reaction that I've gotten from the tens of other jobs I've applied for: nothing at all. So that I would get a response the very next day? It lightened my day somewhat. They are interested in recruiting recent college grads for associate director positions in various locations. I figure this is sort of up my alley, since I've spent most of my time working with either kids or in management positions. I told one of my brothers (one of the two that had actually been to a Score facility - the two found it somewhat boring, and our family didn't really notice an improvement in their test scores) and he said that they probably saw what school I went to and decided to call me right away. That sort of busted my bubble, but I'm thinking he most likely has a point. And, if I ended up with the job because of that, I don't think I'd have a moral problem with that. Eh.
Yesterday was a pretty eff'd up Easter. I went to Mass for 7:30AM, and, because I didn't tell my folks I'd be working, decided to head straight to the job and open up instead of heading back home. We ended up closing early, but by the time I got home my folks had already headed out to S.I. to join up with the rest of the fam. for our usual big dinner shindig. I had a delightful Easter feast of pepperoni mini-deep dish pizza and crab cake (symbolically breaking my lacto-ovo vegetarian diet, although I'm still contemplating going back on it) with Krishna as company. I wasn't really put-out by the whole thing; I mean, I was used to spending holidays without the folks from my time up at school. I was just more upset by the fact that no one seemed to *care* that I wasn't there, at least it seemed like no one cared when they came back and hardly anyone talked to me. No leftovers brought back, nothing. Not like I was going to eat it, but still. It really *is* the thought that counts. My aunt calling with the sob story routine about coming to help in the shop the next day ended up being the straw that broke the camel's back, and I (I'm ashamed to admit) cried myself to sleep. Allowing oneself to cry is refreshing. I'm tired of rationalizing my feelings and putting myself down when I feel weak. Reveling in the stupidity and pitifulness that is my life was ... if not great (not "great" by a longshot, believe you me), but *different*. And a little welcome. Only a little though. The thought that no one really gives a flying fuck is tiresome when given rein to run free more than a nanosecond.
Tomorrow I have to open up, and then I have some "financial planning one-on-one meeting" compliments of Prudential Bank to attend. I "won" this (notice the quotation marks) after entering a raffle at the GLBT Expo at Jacob Javits what felt like ages ago. I also won a free year's membership to Crunch Fitness, but since I was a member of Bally's already I wasn't eligible (the bastids!). I get the feeling that all this "winning" is just a way for them to try to get you to buy stuff from them, in the same way that you can "win" a timeshare vacation and then spend half your time in the Poconos listening to random shills go on and on about how advantageous it would be for you to invest in those money-drains. The one thing I wish I did win, the S4 Promo Poster for Queer as Folk, I thought I could find on the streets (or at least online somewhere) and it's pulled a ninja vanish on me. Pissed about that something awful as well.
Oh well. It's off to bed, off to bed.
ETA: Oh yes! Something else that perked up my day when I heard it that I just remembered as I went to iron my shirt and stepped over the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy book I borrowed from the library. My brother nearly ran into Jai, AKA "The Pocket Queer" at the Alicia Keys/Missy Elliot/Beyonce triple bill concert his friends took him to Saturday. When he called me at work to tell me this (it had just popped into his mind as well - maybe he caught a preview clip of the show or something) I almost squealed. I also felt like jumping through the phone and throttling him for not getting an autograph. Although now I'm wondering what the hell an autograph would prove. But it's just a built-in reaction, I suppose. Wish I'd been there.
The day's been passably agreeable. Got stuck at the shop this morning, even though I was really looking forward to staying in bed and sleeping until noonish then heading to work. She started up with the "speech". I feel like I'm giving her entirely too much credit; she has to know that her perfunctory yet polite "you're not doing anything tomorrow, are you?" followed up by a run-down of how screwed up everything in the shop is basically obligates you to rearrange what you're doing and go help. So I end up with workdays that start at 7:30 AM and end at 8:OO PM (if I don't mess up the drawer count and closing, that is). That's part of the reason I loathe going over there. Another reason? I dislike the guy brought in to "run" the business. Yet another reason? I'll never be keen on working for family. Never. You're way too likely to be fucked over if shit isn't going right. For first-hand evidence I can just look at all the endeavors my folks and my uncle have undergone. All of them craptacular, all of them divisive. I'd much rather take shit from others because they feel I don't "care about the family" or "think of others" and feel shitty because I'm feeling guilty than deal with all that.
Work at Le Shack was rather ho-hum. I screwed up on the deposit again last night, so I'm (again) waiting to be fired. It's a cheap thrill, what can I say? Some guy came in with a satellite dish demanding compensation, even though we no longer deal with that company *and* he's the one that installed the dish. One of the more callous (yet totally hilarious) workers just shrugged and told the guy we couldn't help him. That led to lots of bravado, raised voices, and wielding of broken dual LNP pieces. And me running to the back to the store dying of laughter. I know that I should have stepped up, said I was in charge, and attempted to diffuse the situation. But, puleeze!, I don't get paid enough for that. One of the more diplomatic workers managed to restore peace, and then we all spent a good twenty minutes laughing until we cried and recounting all the times we'd been physically threated by customers. Minimum wage jobs that you're vastly overqualified for: gotta love 'em.
Got a call back (finally) from something that's not vaguely demeaning. Score, a nation-wide tutoring/afterschool company, called me back, astonishing me immensely. I submitted my resume last night, expecting the reaction that I've gotten from the tens of other jobs I've applied for: nothing at all. So that I would get a response the very next day? It lightened my day somewhat. They are interested in recruiting recent college grads for associate director positions in various locations. I figure this is sort of up my alley, since I've spent most of my time working with either kids or in management positions. I told one of my brothers (one of the two that had actually been to a Score facility - the two found it somewhat boring, and our family didn't really notice an improvement in their test scores) and he said that they probably saw what school I went to and decided to call me right away. That sort of busted my bubble, but I'm thinking he most likely has a point. And, if I ended up with the job because of that, I don't think I'd have a moral problem with that. Eh.
Yesterday was a pretty eff'd up Easter. I went to Mass for 7:30AM, and, because I didn't tell my folks I'd be working, decided to head straight to the job and open up instead of heading back home. We ended up closing early, but by the time I got home my folks had already headed out to S.I. to join up with the rest of the fam. for our usual big dinner shindig. I had a delightful Easter feast of pepperoni mini-deep dish pizza and crab cake (symbolically breaking my lacto-ovo vegetarian diet, although I'm still contemplating going back on it) with Krishna as company. I wasn't really put-out by the whole thing; I mean, I was used to spending holidays without the folks from my time up at school. I was just more upset by the fact that no one seemed to *care* that I wasn't there, at least it seemed like no one cared when they came back and hardly anyone talked to me. No leftovers brought back, nothing. Not like I was going to eat it, but still. It really *is* the thought that counts. My aunt calling with the sob story routine about coming to help in the shop the next day ended up being the straw that broke the camel's back, and I (I'm ashamed to admit) cried myself to sleep. Allowing oneself to cry is refreshing. I'm tired of rationalizing my feelings and putting myself down when I feel weak. Reveling in the stupidity and pitifulness that is my life was ... if not great (not "great" by a longshot, believe you me), but *different*. And a little welcome. Only a little though. The thought that no one really gives a flying fuck is tiresome when given rein to run free more than a nanosecond.
Tomorrow I have to open up, and then I have some "financial planning one-on-one meeting" compliments of Prudential Bank to attend. I "won" this (notice the quotation marks) after entering a raffle at the GLBT Expo at Jacob Javits what felt like ages ago. I also won a free year's membership to Crunch Fitness, but since I was a member of Bally's already I wasn't eligible (the bastids!). I get the feeling that all this "winning" is just a way for them to try to get you to buy stuff from them, in the same way that you can "win" a timeshare vacation and then spend half your time in the Poconos listening to random shills go on and on about how advantageous it would be for you to invest in those money-drains. The one thing I wish I did win, the S4 Promo Poster for Queer as Folk, I thought I could find on the streets (or at least online somewhere) and it's pulled a ninja vanish on me. Pissed about that something awful as well.
Oh well. It's off to bed, off to bed.
ETA: Oh yes! Something else that perked up my day when I heard it that I just remembered as I went to iron my shirt and stepped over the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy book I borrowed from the library. My brother nearly ran into Jai, AKA "The Pocket Queer" at the Alicia Keys/Missy Elliot/Beyonce triple bill concert his friends took him to Saturday. When he called me at work to tell me this (it had just popped into his mind as well - maybe he caught a preview clip of the show or something) I almost squealed. I also felt like jumping through the phone and throttling him for not getting an autograph. Although now I'm wondering what the hell an autograph would prove. But it's just a built-in reaction, I suppose. Wish I'd been there.
