fredericks: (IRod - Starman!)
[personal profile] fredericks
There is either a cat in heat or a zombie outside of my window. Maybe a zombie cat? There needs to be one less stray hanging around my neighborhood...now.

I think I found a candidate for Favoritest Patient (of the Moment). Our visits go something like this:

Me: Okay, Mr. S., did you receive the scale I ordered for you?
Mr. S. : What scale? What do I need a scale for?
Me: I have to weight you at least once a week. Don't worry - the scale is free.
Mr. S.: Whaddaya have to do that for? My doctor weighs me all the time!

For the record, his doctor is apparently 92 years old, and has *got* to be the crochety-est old man with which I've ever had the displeasure to try to hold a telephone conversation.

Me: So how much did you weight last time?
Mr. S.: I don't know. I can't remember. Look, look, how big is the scale?
Me: ::big sigh totally being held in by the will of God:: I don't know, Mr. S. I'm still trying to find out if you got the scale. Did you get a package?
Mr. S.: No, no package. No scale. Is it a big scale?
Me: ::sigh not held in this time:: Let me check.

Cue me calling my agency and determining that, yes, a scale was sent out. Next, cue me prompting Mr. S. numerous times to call the mailroom of his building to see if he has a package waiting. Every prompt is followed by Mr. S. complaining that his doctor weighs him "every ten days", inquiries as to the size of the scale, or both. He finally calls downstairs, we find out the scale has, in fact, been waiting for him for a week and a half. I go down to get the scale and return.

Mr S. ::eyeing the size of the box:: Oh, that's too big! [please note that when he gets exasperated his voice rises unforseen octaves and he sounds JUST LIKE Piglet. okay, carry on] Where are you going to keep it?? I'm going to trip all over that thing. Is it heavy?
Me: It's a little heavy, yes [thing weights mebbe six pounds, but he's a frail old man so I have pity on him]. We'll put it in a corner somewhere, yes?
Mr. S.: So what am I going to do when I have to weigh myself every day? How am I going to lift it, huh? That's too much. It's too much!
Me: What, so we go from you not wanting to be weighed to you weighing yourself every day? How 'bout this? How 'bout I stick this baby right. here. ::points to shelf on curio well away from the floor and clumsy feet of fall-prone elderly gentlemen:: and you not worry about it until next week. How does that work for you?
Mr. S. : I don't see the point, you know. My doctor weighs me all the time.
Me: How much did you weigh last time?
Mr. S.: I don't know.
Me: Precisely. Now step on the scale.

Cue more grumbling on his part and, I swear, it took like five minutes to get him on the scale and get an accurate reading. I wrap up my visit, go back to HQ, and I end up having to call him for something else. Cue a ten minute conversation where he goes on about how heavy the scale is and how he's wondering how he's going to weight himself every day, as I laugh my ass off.

God, I love that man. And I'm not being sarcastic. We argue like an old married couple, but I almost always get my way. And it's great that he's actually attempting to alter his diet and asking me about his food choices.
I have mentioned I'm enjoying my job so far, right?

The Summer of Museums/Public Spaces
Places I've Already Been To This Summer:
Metropolitan Museum of Art
American Museum of Natural History
Both oldies but goodies.

Places I Intend To Visit:
New York Aquarium
Bronx Zoo
The Guggenheim
The Cloisters
The Whitney
The Museum of Television and Radio
The Museum of Sex (which, I hear, is somewhat overrated...)
Museum of Modern Art
Montauk (say "Montauk!" like you'd sing "Trogdor!" and it makes it that much more fun).
Any places I should add?

I'm pooped. I can't believe it's not Friday yet. Work = good. Life = okay. Can't complain at the moment.

Date: 2008-07-09 04:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] modpixie.livejournal.com
you should see the murakami exhibit at the brooklyn museum!

Date: 2008-07-09 04:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fredericks.livejournal.com
Right! Gah! Can't believe I forgot that one (again!).

Date: 2008-07-09 12:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] atraxia.livejournal.com
i want to go to the aquarium and montauk.

Date: 2008-07-11 02:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fredericks.livejournal.com
Pick a weekend and we're all about the fishes.

Date: 2008-07-09 01:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] captainschlumpy.livejournal.com
oh yeah, Murakami exhibit is awesome! I'd do that one again! Also, I have the 19th off if you want to go to Montauk *MONTAUK!* that day.

Date: 2008-07-10 12:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fredericks.livejournal.com
The last day of the Murakami exhibit is this Sunday. I'm planning on going either Saturday or Sunday. Should be fun. :)

And Montauk is marked off on my calendar. Yeah! Montauk!

Date: 2008-07-09 01:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolfsavard.livejournal.com
I'm glad you're enjoying the new job!

Also, I love the Cloisters! I haven't been in so long... I need to go back.

Date: 2008-07-11 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fredericks.livejournal.com
Thanks!

And I've never been. Are there actual exhibits, or is it more of an open air contemplative environment thing?

Date: 2008-07-11 06:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolfsavard.livejournal.com
Open air contemplative environment. There are some parts that are more museum like... some unicorn tapestries if I remember correctly.

Date: 2008-07-11 12:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-lighthouse.livejournal.com
"Zombie Cat" sounds like a great title for a webcomic...

Anyways, hello! I know this is random..but I did a meme where my friends recommended their LJ friends to me, and [livejournal.com profile] mersipan pointed me in your direction. We have a whole bunch of interests in common & you seem very cool. Mind if I add you?

Date: 2008-07-11 02:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fredericks.livejournal.com
"Zombie Cat" sounds like a great title for a webcomic...
with a cat that acted just like a regular cat but was a zombie. Or maybe I'm being a touch too literal.

Sure. Adding fun! Nice to meet you.

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