And I said it

[fredericks]

Reason No. 1 why I don't like to keep foods cooking in the oven overnight: I found myself woken up by the blare of the fire alarm, the alarm system calling out "Fire! Leave the building!", my dog whining in her corner (she can't stand the alarm systen), and, oh yes, oodles and oodles of smoke billowing upstairs while a compromised (drunk? high? effin' retarded?) dad tried groggily to deal with the matter. The turkey grease overspilt the pan and started smoking all over the bottom of the oven. I told my mom about this before she left, that people fall asleep and you don't know what the hell is going on in the house when you cook while everyone's asleep, but she brushed it off. Meanwhile, yesterday morning, when she came in to find the BOILER smoking she freaked, saying that if it started doing that while she was sleeping it might catch afire and kill her (she sleeps really heavily - comes from years of sleep deprivation and working nights).

But, no. Let's put five lives in danger so the bleedin' oven can be empty for an extra 9 hours or so.

Goddamn. I smell like burning.
/Ralph Wiggins