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Sometimes I look around and I see reminders of how I was when I was younger, and I say to myself "hells, I wouldn't hang around with me either!" It's funny, because I'm still quite young. Quarter of a century. Yet I don't feel quite as old now as I did three or four years ago. I'm less "goth" and more realistic. More open, I guess. I embrace my immaturity, as opposed to back then when I'd put on airs and pretend to be older than I was. Eons older, in fact. I used to do with corny British dialogue during online chat that was absolutely cringeworthy. I wish I had some of my chat transcriptions because...Lawd. Never did much talking when I wasn't in a box. I see people around my age online saying they're "sarcastic" and "blunt" and I think to myself "there but for the grace of God...".

I wish I was able to time travel back and kick my younger self in the ass. Because I needed it back then. And sometimes now too. I'd ask for volunteers, but no.
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fredericks

October 2013

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